Writing Feedback / Paragraph on making money by successful professionals - IELTS essay [2]

Topic: Successful professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

This is the third paragraph: However, I would agree with those who believe we should support more for the working of other crucial such as education or health,..The main reason for this argument is that I think there are many vital fields which relate to our social more directly than sport. It means that the development of degradation of it have a ( i don't know what adj i should add) influence on our life. Education, for instance should be investigated and concentrated on for the stable improvement of the nation. Another argument is because of the silent contribution of many people who are working for the better world. Hence, we should be grateful to them and support more for their working

Writing Feedback / The sport professionals are often very overpayed and this is not fair. [NEW]

Topic: Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

It's true that nowadays sports stars can earn incredibly high salaries . Although , there are some reasons can justify it, I personally believe that sports professionals should be paid much less.

There are several reasons why people support much incomes for sports. Firstly, people who reach the highest levels in any sports must be uniquely talented. For example, it is rare to find someone with the football skills of Messi or Rolnado. Secondly, even the most talented sports must undergo many years of intensively training to develop their skills and this takes great passion and effort. Finally, sports stars's incomes are high because their spectaculars and fans are willing to pay to watch their favorite sports stars.

However, I agree with those who believe we should support more the dedication of other important professionals.The main reason for this argument is that I believe other fields such as education, healthcare or economy... are vital for human beings. All people need doctors to take care of them as well as engineers to invent new machines to make our life better and better. I other words, we can live without sports stars but can's live without doctors and engineers. Another argument is that everybody should be given salaries that reflect the amount of work they do. However, the great disparity in incomes of them is unjust that while a doctor being work fine to nine, five days a week earns significant less than a football player who only plays a game for a couple of hours a week.

In conclusion, the contribution of not only sports stars but also other crucial professionals should be given recognition and we should support more to other vital fields rather then support for sports.