mayph
May 15, 2015
Writing Feedback / 5 paragraph writing - travel and transportation [3]
Please check grammar and used in my paragraph.
Narration
Around last March, Fang, Maprang, and I planned to go to Saiyok waterfall in Kanchanaburi. In those time, I wake up lastly so I took a bath very swift. Instantly, my telephone rang and Fang said; "You miss a train. But you can join with us by taking the van, change the motorbike, and catch up the same train in Kanchanaburi station." I accepted her advice and hastily went to the van station. When I near Kanchanaburi that was a relief! So I comfortably chatted in Line group. My friends asked about whereabouts am I and we shared each other location. I laugh Fang about miss sharing location of her. But while the location emerged, I was shocked. We arrived same district that made my heart skip a beat. When I arrived Kanchanaburi station, I hurried to take a motorbike. I bought the train ticket before time up just 5 minutes. I had a deep sigh and text the message to my friends that they were sticking out. The train had been arrive, I saw my friends gesticulate to me and I caught up the train to sit with them. I had to thanks about speed of the Thai train and recommend from my friends.
Exposition
I, like many people, had a problem trying to travel to somewhere, according to missed a train when I traveled to Saiyok waterfall. You will gain a lots of experience from missed a train. For example, I missed a train but I had to find the way that made I can go to see my friends. Firstly, I took the van. Next, I changed the motorbike to train station in Kanchanaburi. Then, I bought the ticket just in time to buy. Finally, I caught up the same train and saw my friends. These was show which I could not to catch up the train in time if I did not know about route, location, or preparing for travel. As a result, preparing for travel is very important.
Definition
"Travel" has a lot of definition. It is depend on experience of others. According to Wikipedia travel is the movement of people between relatively distant geographical locations, and can involve travel by foot, bicycle, automobile, train, boat, airplane, or other means, with or without luggage, and can be one way or round trip. Travel can also include relatively short stays between successive movements. Moreover, travel can entail relaxing; when you travel, you will leave all the worries all behind. In addition, it can also signify learning. Because when you travel, you will learn to live on your own. You will discover by seeing some spectacular things: culture, language, living, and attitude. It make you more instruct and understand about your life and your surroundings.
Description
The train is an absorbing example of travel to Saiyok waterfall by public transportation. The hastiness that you faced in every time are lessen. You can look people and acquire about others. You can comfortably seat and look out the window to view the plentiful natural sideways of Kanchanaburi. You will be immerse with the axenic rude air instead of air condition. Your eyes will contact with the unprocessed color from immature trees, steep mountains, and graceful fields. Sound of literal mechanism and sound of the wild make you feel degage between you on the way to the absolved and caller waterfall. You can disturb these things with a few money or free. When you travel to Saiyok waterfall, Kanchanaburi. Travel by the train is one alternative that you can choose. It make you receive the parvenu experiences that you cannot forgot.
Comparison
The main similarity between the van and the train is that they both are the land transportation. Although the van and the train are land transportation, the van fast to go to the landing place. On one hand, the van is an appropriate transportation to be if you like comfortable. On the other hand, sometimes it is make you feel serious from travel against time. You will relax and be impressed with the natural view from the train. On the train, you can buy food, fruit, and water and you can go to toilet. Conversely, the van do not have anything. Moreover, the van is a very expensive ticket, but many people are inexperience as opposed to the train which is inexpensive, but has a much better view and experience. If you want to speedy transportation to the landing place, or comfortable travel, the van is the land transportation to choose. But if you want to relaxing, intimate the natural, convenient toilet, or free ticket, the train is the land transportation to select.
Please check grammar and used in my paragraph.
Narration
Around last March, Fang, Maprang, and I planned to go to Saiyok waterfall in Kanchanaburi. In those time, I wake up lastly so I took a bath very swift. Instantly, my telephone rang and Fang said; "You miss a train. But you can join with us by taking the van, change the motorbike, and catch up the same train in Kanchanaburi station." I accepted her advice and hastily went to the van station. When I near Kanchanaburi that was a relief! So I comfortably chatted in Line group. My friends asked about whereabouts am I and we shared each other location. I laugh Fang about miss sharing location of her. But while the location emerged, I was shocked. We arrived same district that made my heart skip a beat. When I arrived Kanchanaburi station, I hurried to take a motorbike. I bought the train ticket before time up just 5 minutes. I had a deep sigh and text the message to my friends that they were sticking out. The train had been arrive, I saw my friends gesticulate to me and I caught up the train to sit with them. I had to thanks about speed of the Thai train and recommend from my friends.
Exposition
I, like many people, had a problem trying to travel to somewhere, according to missed a train when I traveled to Saiyok waterfall. You will gain a lots of experience from missed a train. For example, I missed a train but I had to find the way that made I can go to see my friends. Firstly, I took the van. Next, I changed the motorbike to train station in Kanchanaburi. Then, I bought the ticket just in time to buy. Finally, I caught up the same train and saw my friends. These was show which I could not to catch up the train in time if I did not know about route, location, or preparing for travel. As a result, preparing for travel is very important.
Definition
"Travel" has a lot of definition. It is depend on experience of others. According to Wikipedia travel is the movement of people between relatively distant geographical locations, and can involve travel by foot, bicycle, automobile, train, boat, airplane, or other means, with or without luggage, and can be one way or round trip. Travel can also include relatively short stays between successive movements. Moreover, travel can entail relaxing; when you travel, you will leave all the worries all behind. In addition, it can also signify learning. Because when you travel, you will learn to live on your own. You will discover by seeing some spectacular things: culture, language, living, and attitude. It make you more instruct and understand about your life and your surroundings.
Description
The train is an absorbing example of travel to Saiyok waterfall by public transportation. The hastiness that you faced in every time are lessen. You can look people and acquire about others. You can comfortably seat and look out the window to view the plentiful natural sideways of Kanchanaburi. You will be immerse with the axenic rude air instead of air condition. Your eyes will contact with the unprocessed color from immature trees, steep mountains, and graceful fields. Sound of literal mechanism and sound of the wild make you feel degage between you on the way to the absolved and caller waterfall. You can disturb these things with a few money or free. When you travel to Saiyok waterfall, Kanchanaburi. Travel by the train is one alternative that you can choose. It make you receive the parvenu experiences that you cannot forgot.
Comparison
The main similarity between the van and the train is that they both are the land transportation. Although the van and the train are land transportation, the van fast to go to the landing place. On one hand, the van is an appropriate transportation to be if you like comfortable. On the other hand, sometimes it is make you feel serious from travel against time. You will relax and be impressed with the natural view from the train. On the train, you can buy food, fruit, and water and you can go to toilet. Conversely, the van do not have anything. Moreover, the van is a very expensive ticket, but many people are inexperience as opposed to the train which is inexpensive, but has a much better view and experience. If you want to speedy transportation to the landing place, or comfortable travel, the van is the land transportation to choose. But if you want to relaxing, intimate the natural, convenient toilet, or free ticket, the train is the land transportation to select.