Undergraduate / Teaching English in Chile Essay #2 [2]

Hi, your essay is well written, but there are some issues with the overall flow and grammar mistakes.

As an undergraduate this led me to major in International Relations; through though international relations is a varied field, including everything from diplomacy to international security to economics, the area of study that interested me most was in the field of development economics

the area of study that interested me most was in thefield of development economics. My aspiration is to to join the Peace Corpand then eventually to work in the field of development.

- you say that you are interested in econ but then in the next sentence you jump to your aspirations which is to join the Peace Corp. I'm not sure of the relation between the two sentences.

Undergraduate / Improving social skills in a large city - why i chose to apply to UCF [3]

Hi your essay is well written, but there is one point that I would like to mention.

Your title says Improving social skills in a large city but that's not mentioned well enough in the essay.
other than this the essay is really good. Hope you get in.

Undergraduate / 'severe case of asthma' - UC personal statment about my world in which I grew up [4]

Hi i made the revisions as well as added some of the suggested information. I'm not very sure if this answers the prompt correctly or not and was hoping for some feedback on that. Any advice will be very helpful.

For most of my early childhood I had been bound to my two bedroom apartment in downtown San Jose. I grew up having a severe case of asthma which prevented me from running around and playing tag with the rest of the kids. Some of the worst memories I have are of me waking up in the middle of the night almost unable to breathe, searching for my inhaler in the darkness. While the neighborhood kids ran about, I hoped for a way to get out.

My seventh birthday opened that door for me. After my party I opened all the gifts and a dainty box in the middle of the pile caught my eye. It was a puzzle of a mountain, I immediately ripped open the plastic and began making it. As, I put the pieces together I saw the distant green trees, and the river running from the top of the mountain. I had climbed the top and realized I didn't have to leave my house to see what is outside. The years went by, and I built bigger and bigger puzzles and explored more places. As, I got older I was able to get over my asthma and start more physical activities, but my passion for puzzles didn't die.

There's something about making puzzles that I can't live without. The early stages of making a puzzles, especially the bigger ones, are painful. Carefully sorting out over a 1000 pieces, the size of a dime by color is no easy task. Once the pieces start falling into place, the satisfaction is unparalleled to any game I can play outdoors. There are several different ways to start a puzzle: build the border and work your way in, focus on a specific object and build around it etc. It's this planning that goes into the puzzle that I love, and this passion that I found when I started coding.

The same sort of planning goes into making a program. I've only started with html, which is used to make websites, but I get the same feeling that get when I make puzzles. Making a website is not a chore but rather a reward I get for all the hard work I put into making it, the beginning is just separate lines of code, but once I put them together they form a beautiful picture. I know that it is important to love what you do and so I believe becoming a programmer will allow me to enjoy my passion while doing my job.