Graduate / Work and volunteering - Personal statement for Master of Public Administration/MPP applications [9]

Thank you all for your comments. I can see that I've probably gone down the wrong-track with my first draft so have done a re-write. I still fear that it may appear to procedural/ lacking in passion, but at the same time I am keen to portray my likely strengths relative to other candidates (without just reciting my resume), the most significant of these being a good amount of relevant work experience and a relatively privileged background.

As a reminder, this is not a statement of purpose, it is a personal statement, and the main things that it should include (according to application requirements) are my background, goals, academic and professional aspirations, and a commitment to public service.

I will also tailor it considerably for each individual application so there are some placeholders in there at the moment and it will need to be expanded/ cut depending on length requirements. I have removed the names of some of the specific organisations that i've worked for simply for the sake of preserving anonymity - I will put them in for the final application (thanks for that suggestion Vangiespen). I would gratefully receive any further comments that you have on my second draft:

Draft 2:

I grew up in a part of the UK where few people leave their local area or go to university. Neither of my parents went to university. I went to a public school that sends hardly any pupils to Oxford or Cambridge; yet this is the goal to which I aspired. Having achieved it, it was whilst at university that I realised how hard it had been. I saw at first-hand the stark disparity in outcomes for young people from different backgrounds. Around half of my peers attended private schools and only a small minority non-selective public schools such as my own. The frustration that I feel at the unfulfilled potential amongst so many poorer communities in the UK is why working to improve social mobility is my prime motivation in life. I want many more people to benefit from the opportunities that my education opened for me. Since graduating I have worked for five years in prominent non-profit organisations in research, evaluation and policy roles seeking to address this challenge. Now I wish to undertake an MPA to further my objectives first of becoming a better social policy analyst and subsequently to work towards leading a non-profit or public body that promotes social mobility.

I have been committed to pursuing a career in public service from the very start of my career. It is for this reason that my first step after university was to win a place on a highly selective leadership development programme for the not-for-profit sector in the UK. During this programme I worked in a variety of roles in non-profit organisations tackling homelessness and health. One of the organisations in which I worked, St Mungo's, was forced to close a number of its homeless shelters following government funding cuts - cuts which were much easier for the government to make due to insubstantial evidence of the benefits to the organisation's work. This was one example amongst many other I noticed, in which insufficient evidence of outcomes inhibits both the efficacy of social sector organisations and the ability of funders to support genuinely impactful programmes. Building the evidence base of social policies and programmes is a priority in the UK, and this is why I chose to focus my immediate career goals on building analytical skills and applying these as a means of addressing social problems.

I believe that a lack of social mobility is the most significant social problem facing the UK, and that facilitating access to a good education for all is one of the most effective means of addressing this challenge. This is why I have have sought to gain substantial experience of policy analysis and administration in this field - both in my job and in voluntary roles. In my current role, I build the evidence base to support effective decision-making at the UK's largest charity addressing inequality in education - [org name removed]; meanwhile I also volunteer in leadership roles in the field, enabling me to actively address issues that I care about whilst gaining experience in public administration. As Chair of Governors at a large elementary school and a Director of a chain of elementary schools, I have dealt with a range of leadership challenges, including removing a head teacher and recruiting senior school leaders, and overhauling governance at the schools. The breadth of experience that I have gained in a relatively short-time shows that I have the commitment and potential to progress to a leadership role in public service, however I believe that I need quality training in certain areas to fulfil that potential.

A key reason why I want to undertake an MPA is to improve my quantitative analysis skills. During my career, I have seen that quantitative analysis of a social problem or policy initiative is one of the most powerful tools through which a concise and compelling argument can be made. For instance, whilst working at Social Finance, an organisation raising social investment to fund preventative interventions, I carried out a cost/ benefit analysis comparing a form of adult fostering care, known as Shared Lives, to institutional alternatives such as care homes. Although Shared Lives was already thought to provide beneficiaries with a better quality of life, a lack of evidence of its cost-effectiveness was preventing commissioners from expanding it. My analysis proved that Shared Lives is far more cost-effective than most alternatives. As a result over £1m of social investment was raised to support the expansion of Shared Lives in a number of local authorities and the initiative personally backed by the Minister for Care and Support. Just one chart, comparing the cost of one form of care to others, has the potential to ultimately improve the lives of thousands of people.

Yet so many other social policies lack the evidence to prove their financial and social impact. Subsequently, so much public and philanthropic funding is spent on unproven programmes. During my career, much of my work has centred on using quantitative skills to build the evidence base around policy initiatives, encompassing analysis of large data sets and economic modelling. However I lack training in more advanced quantitative methods that are becoming increasingly central to policy analysis, including statistics and econometrics. For instance I am currently evaluating a higher education access programme, where the ability to create a control group and use regression techniques would help me to carry out far more robust analysis of its efficacy than I am currently able to do. It is these skills that I want to develop through this course, in particular through studying x class under x professor, which would help me to become a more accomplished and efficacious social policy analyst.

During my career I have also realised that strong leadership of public and non-profit organisations is a vital, yet all-too-scarce, skill. I have worked closely with a number of senior leaders in the public and non-profit spheres and have found many to be lacking crucial technical and inter-personal skills. For instance as a director of a chain of elementary schools I recently joined my colleagues in voting out the Chair of directors, after we lost confidence in his ability to lead the Board. He failed to succeed in the role because he ascended to a senior position too quickly and lacked training in leadership and management. I feel that poor leadership in the social sector is too common, due to poor accountability, training and development of leaders in social organisations, and to a leaching of talent to more lucrative sectors. Yet it is in the public sphere that good leadership is most vital; in which it most directly affects people's lives. I am specifically seeking training in the financial management of organisations and the socio-political considerations that are integral to an effective and driven workforce, such as creating a diverse staff and a culture which embraces that diversity. I believe these skills would help me to fulfil my long-term ambition of leading a non-profit or public organisation.

I would relish the opportunity to study x course at x university. I am certain that the training you can provide me both in policy analysis, and management and leadership of organisations, would equip me with the skills i need to achieve my short and long-term goals. Thank you for considering my application.

Graduate / Work and volunteering - Personal statement for Master of Public Administration/MPP applications [9]

Thank you so much for your comments, and for taking the time to read both of my drafts - such useful feedback.

If you are able to advise any clear ways in which I could edit this down then it would certainly be appreciated. I spent most of the last few days staring at this thing, and now lack perspective to such a degree that i find it hard to edit it down!

I will certainly have a go at writing a version that is half the length, as this would be good practice and some of my applications do require this. But others want something that is around 750-1,000 words, so a little less than the current length, whilst others require something around 200 words so it's a real range. Thanks again for your help.