tkuikel
Sep 25, 2015
Scholarship / Bamboo huts - QuestBridge (scholarship) Biographical Essay- Need An Insight [10]
Can someone read essay please, and give me a feedback!
It would be great if you edit it!
Thank you!
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow? (800 words)
(I think there is too much background, idk what to do. It defines who I am but I feel like they are elongating this essay but I also want this essay to show where I get my inspiration, not what I want to do in the future.)
I was born without any goals, responsibilities, or a future.
Or at least, that is what I used to think.
I was born in a refugee camp in Nepal, surrounded by bamboo huts and unsanitary lifestyle. We seldom received food rations, clothes, and bamboos to continue our lives. I felt like we were lost in an oblivion, uncertain, hopeless and unaware of the unknown, unappealing future.
My parents, forced to leave their homeland of Bhutan due to ethnic cleansing, took refuge in unpleasant camps in Nepal with the help of the UNHCR and intended to live a new life and raise my brother and me. Being born in a situation like that, I felt like there was no goal and responsibility for me at all. Although rough and unpleasant, my life was fully supported by hard work of my parents. There was a roof to live under, clothes to cover my body and when I came back from playing around with my friends, food on the table. I had no necessity to do something; I had no goals to accomplish.
In 2009, a program, International Organization for Migration, saw the hardships my parents were enduring and decided to resettle refugees to different developed countries. My parents decided to resettle in the United States and were delighted and relieved as they were heading toward the land of opportunity and great future. In the other hand, I was indifferent and apathetic; I didn't care where we were about to go as long as my parents were the one taking care me. But then the last days in the refugee camp arrived that changed my life forever.
"You will have to take care of you family in this journey, Tika," said my uncle.
"Say 'I need to go the bathroom' if anyone needs to go pee in the plane," said my cousin.
All my relatives had something to teach me, as I was the oldest son, in order to prepare me to take care of my parents and my brother in this journey. All of sudden, I realized that I was swarmed with responsibilities. My parents were not anymore the ones doing everything for the family, but it was me, who had to carefully bring us and settle down in the other side of the world. Living eleven years in a refugee camp, I was not at all familiar with the language and the culture of the nation toward which we were venturing. The last night in the refugee camp, I was both frightened and awakened.
That day I thought about the future but a lot more about the past. I could finally comprehend all the sacrifices my parents had done for my future. Despite leaving their native land, they worked harshly in a place with no opportunity to keep me healthy, send me to school and put food on the table to make my brother and me happy. I remembered my dad reluctantly buying us candy and meat, when we went to the local bazaar, even though they costed more than what he had. I also remembered the previous Diwali, when my brother and I had fireworks, fancy clothes, and meat even though my parents were wearing old, worn clothes. I felt disappointed in myself that day, but I accepted my responsibilities to my family as that was the way to give back what my parents had done for me.
When we arrived at the United states, my family was my responsibility in certain needs because I was the only that spoke broken English. I explained to my parents the mails we received. I wrote many checks to pay for rent and bills. As school started, I got committed improve my English through the help of friends, teachers and the library. This made everything easier: taking my parents to the hospital, welfare office or brother's parent-teacher conference. I still do these things after school as my parents have not had the chance to frequently go to English class because they have to work every day to support the family
My parents' commitment and hope for my future motivate me to do something remarkable in life. Now I know that it is my goal to use the opportunities around me to make something of myself and help my parents and my community. When I think about bamboo huts and food ration, I get an internal urge to contribute to the world. Therefore, I dedicate myself to continue my education to be successful because I believe that my education is the key to my family's happiness and world's prosperity.
Can someone read essay please, and give me a feedback!
It would be great if you edit it!
Thank you!
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow? (800 words)
(I think there is too much background, idk what to do. It defines who I am but I feel like they are elongating this essay but I also want this essay to show where I get my inspiration, not what I want to do in the future.)
I was born without any goals, responsibilities, or a future.
Or at least, that is what I used to think.
I was born in a refugee camp in Nepal, surrounded by bamboo huts and unsanitary lifestyle. We seldom received food rations, clothes, and bamboos to continue our lives. I felt like we were lost in an oblivion, uncertain, hopeless and unaware of the unknown, unappealing future.
My parents, forced to leave their homeland of Bhutan due to ethnic cleansing, took refuge in unpleasant camps in Nepal with the help of the UNHCR and intended to live a new life and raise my brother and me. Being born in a situation like that, I felt like there was no goal and responsibility for me at all. Although rough and unpleasant, my life was fully supported by hard work of my parents. There was a roof to live under, clothes to cover my body and when I came back from playing around with my friends, food on the table. I had no necessity to do something; I had no goals to accomplish.
In 2009, a program, International Organization for Migration, saw the hardships my parents were enduring and decided to resettle refugees to different developed countries. My parents decided to resettle in the United States and were delighted and relieved as they were heading toward the land of opportunity and great future. In the other hand, I was indifferent and apathetic; I didn't care where we were about to go as long as my parents were the one taking care me. But then the last days in the refugee camp arrived that changed my life forever.
"You will have to take care of you family in this journey, Tika," said my uncle.
"Say 'I need to go the bathroom' if anyone needs to go pee in the plane," said my cousin.
All my relatives had something to teach me, as I was the oldest son, in order to prepare me to take care of my parents and my brother in this journey. All of sudden, I realized that I was swarmed with responsibilities. My parents were not anymore the ones doing everything for the family, but it was me, who had to carefully bring us and settle down in the other side of the world. Living eleven years in a refugee camp, I was not at all familiar with the language and the culture of the nation toward which we were venturing. The last night in the refugee camp, I was both frightened and awakened.
That day I thought about the future but a lot more about the past. I could finally comprehend all the sacrifices my parents had done for my future. Despite leaving their native land, they worked harshly in a place with no opportunity to keep me healthy, send me to school and put food on the table to make my brother and me happy. I remembered my dad reluctantly buying us candy and meat, when we went to the local bazaar, even though they costed more than what he had. I also remembered the previous Diwali, when my brother and I had fireworks, fancy clothes, and meat even though my parents were wearing old, worn clothes. I felt disappointed in myself that day, but I accepted my responsibilities to my family as that was the way to give back what my parents had done for me.
When we arrived at the United states, my family was my responsibility in certain needs because I was the only that spoke broken English. I explained to my parents the mails we received. I wrote many checks to pay for rent and bills. As school started, I got committed improve my English through the help of friends, teachers and the library. This made everything easier: taking my parents to the hospital, welfare office or brother's parent-teacher conference. I still do these things after school as my parents have not had the chance to frequently go to English class because they have to work every day to support the family
My parents' commitment and hope for my future motivate me to do something remarkable in life. Now I know that it is my goal to use the opportunities around me to make something of myself and help my parents and my community. When I think about bamboo huts and food ration, I get an internal urge to contribute to the world. Therefore, I dedicate myself to continue my education to be successful because I believe that my education is the key to my family's happiness and world's prosperity.