margeary
Oct 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / University should make an easier access for poor students (IELTS Writing task 2) [4]
Hi all!
This is my first post and I need a review for my try out. I am not really sure about the vocabulary and the grammar, but I try to manage precisely finish it in 40 minutes. Appreciate for the comment! Thank you in advance :)
The case:
Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to have access to the university education. People think universities should make it easier for them to study at. To what extent you agree or disagree?
We live in the time where education is an access to have a better future. Unfortunately, the higher the education level is, it will be more difficult as well to be reached, especially for disadvantage student. In my opinion, the institution of education should be proactive in approaching student with low economy life, accompanied with other related party.
It is commonly known that students who come from countryside are unlimited in connection to information, including education. Moreover, universities seems to be very far to be studied at. Fancy institutions mostly are centralized in suburban area where everything is accessible. For example, most Ivy League school are headquartered in New Jersey and New York, United States. In the same way, rural area mostly are not equipped with developed infrastructure to connect the area with information. Thus, universities, which have the prerogative in admittance procedure, should consider to put up more accessible way for them.
On the other hand, it is not only the job of the university to simplify the access for student. First, government should be aware that infrastructure building is necessary for student to access information of further education. Second, early school could take the part on building a sustainable proactive culture for student in gaining information. It is also important to prepare the student that competition in university is hard academically and socially. Hence, all parties are needed essentially in building fair access for all student.
In summary, student who are not living in metropolitan city should have an accessible way to possess higher education, but it does not always have to be easy. I strongly believe that fair access for all student eventually will bring more impact for a better generation than merely a simple way.
Hi all!
This is my first post and I need a review for my try out. I am not really sure about the vocabulary and the grammar, but I try to manage precisely finish it in 40 minutes. Appreciate for the comment! Thank you in advance :)
The case:
Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to have access to the university education. People think universities should make it easier for them to study at. To what extent you agree or disagree?
We live in the time where education is an access to have a better future. Unfortunately, the higher the education level is, it will be more difficult as well to be reached, especially for disadvantage student. In my opinion, the institution of education should be proactive in approaching student with low economy life, accompanied with other related party.
It is commonly known that students who come from countryside are unlimited in connection to information, including education. Moreover, universities seems to be very far to be studied at. Fancy institutions mostly are centralized in suburban area where everything is accessible. For example, most Ivy League school are headquartered in New Jersey and New York, United States. In the same way, rural area mostly are not equipped with developed infrastructure to connect the area with information. Thus, universities, which have the prerogative in admittance procedure, should consider to put up more accessible way for them.
On the other hand, it is not only the job of the university to simplify the access for student. First, government should be aware that infrastructure building is necessary for student to access information of further education. Second, early school could take the part on building a sustainable proactive culture for student in gaining information. It is also important to prepare the student that competition in university is hard academically and socially. Hence, all parties are needed essentially in building fair access for all student.
In summary, student who are not living in metropolitan city should have an accessible way to possess higher education, but it does not always have to be easy. I strongly believe that fair access for all student eventually will bring more impact for a better generation than merely a simple way.