zhangweilong
Oct 18, 2015
Writing Feedback / GRE Argument Essay: Adjust the shower-heads [3]
The essay makes a good argument as a whole. But a few suggestions:
I have just finished GRE so as far as I know, it is not necessary to repeat the instructions in the first paragraph. The viewers already know it clearly. It is a waste of time and words.
The arguments are strong. If you want to add more points, I suggest to look on 1. Whether the water cost is a large cost? If it just accounts a small part, it might not be a good recommendation considering the potential complaints. 2. It was carried out last month. What if it happens to be in winter, when people do not take much shower? Then what will happen in the summer?
Hope it helps!
The essay makes a good argument as a whole. But a few suggestions:
I have just finished GRE so as far as I know, it is not necessary to repeat the instructions in the first paragraph. The viewers already know it clearly. It is a waste of time and words.
The arguments are strong. If you want to add more points, I suggest to look on 1. Whether the water cost is a large cost? If it just accounts a small part, it might not be a good recommendation considering the potential complaints. 2. It was carried out last month. What if it happens to be in winter, when people do not take much shower? Then what will happen in the summer?
Hope it helps!
