mariavivanco
Nov 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Closing the gender gap in STEM fields, internalized sexism in american education system [NEW]
so i need help shorten my essay for common app its @ 690 words so just let me know what i should take out like whats irrelevant and such also give me feedback on my writing like is it too chiche?? thanks !!
"Are you sure you want to be an engineer? Isn't that too hard for you?." "How did you get a higher grade than [insert mediocre male classmate's name here]? Did you cheat?" These are only a few of the snide questions that have been directed to me whenever I uttered anything regarding STEM or pursuing it. My question is: Where are these questions rooted from? The simple answer: idiocy. The complicated answer: the internalized sexism that has been embedded in the American education system.
Growing up, I wasn't aware it was controversial being a young girl interested in STEM. Frankly, I just knew that I loved science, loved when I learned about the water cycle in fourth grade to learning solubility in AP Chemistry. In my own secluded world, I didn't think twice when I was considered less than my male classmates, no matter how well I did. I didn't give it a second thought when I learned that there were "things for girls" and "things for boys" and to even attempt to cross that gender barrier was "wrong" and unfathomable.As any normal child, I programmed this into my brain since of course, adults were right and I was merely a young girl. What did I know?
I was young Latina growing up in society where teachers assume that the reason a woman doesn't understand a tough math or science concept, is because of their gender. A society where women, especially of color, are discouraged from focusing on hard science.
As I grew older, I adapted and developed habits as a result of the systematic sexism that had become a normality in my life. The little girl that was once excitedly rose her hand with confidence became a young woman that muttered answers under her breath when the teacher asked for an answer. A woman that constantly sought approval of those around her and was afraid to speak up against her male classmates. I felt excluded from my own passions.
My experience isn't unique. I am one of the tens of thousands of young girls growing up in a world of systematic sexism. Part of the the tens of thousands of young girls that grow up in a world that under-represents women in STEM fields. Growing up without female role models with careers in technology and science, furthers the belief that the world of technology is a boys club.
The solution for the under representation in this field starts out early. Young girls need to be exposed to topics such as computer science from a young age so they can be motivated to study it. I wasn't exposed to computer science until this summer, when I had the privilege of being accepted into Girls Who Code. In the program, I was surrounded with strong women who understood what it was like to grow up in a society that constantly undermines them. I met powerful women who had excelled in their field and had made brilliant innovations. I created something of my own: Girl's Knight, an interactive game featuring a female protagonist that combated catcallers using pepper sprays. My team and I were able to overcome many challenges but in the end, we had a well-designed product that we were able to pitch to representatives of important companies like Verizon and even New Jersey senator, Cory Booker at graduation.
My experience at Girls Who Code taught me more than computation skills, it taught to be an active, confident individual with a voice. An individual that is unafraid to pursue a career in engineering, despite any of the discrimination that she faces. I am able to speak up for those young girls who have been silenced by this world's systematic sexism and racism. Young girls have the right to become aerospace engineers or computer scientists if they wish; they shouldn't be held back by the fact that they identify as female. I aim to become an individual that inspires young girls to push through obstacles and create revolutions. To not be afraid to be loud and heard. To be part of the statistic that closes the gender gap in the STEM field.
so i need help shorten my essay for common app its @ 690 words so just let me know what i should take out like whats irrelevant and such also give me feedback on my writing like is it too chiche?? thanks !!
"Are you sure you want to be an engineer? Isn't that too hard for you?." "How did you get a higher grade than [insert mediocre male classmate's name here]? Did you cheat?" These are only a few of the snide questions that have been directed to me whenever I uttered anything regarding STEM or pursuing it. My question is: Where are these questions rooted from? The simple answer: idiocy. The complicated answer: the internalized sexism that has been embedded in the American education system.
Growing up, I wasn't aware it was controversial being a young girl interested in STEM. Frankly, I just knew that I loved science, loved when I learned about the water cycle in fourth grade to learning solubility in AP Chemistry. In my own secluded world, I didn't think twice when I was considered less than my male classmates, no matter how well I did. I didn't give it a second thought when I learned that there were "things for girls" and "things for boys" and to even attempt to cross that gender barrier was "wrong" and unfathomable.As any normal child, I programmed this into my brain since of course, adults were right and I was merely a young girl. What did I know?
I was young Latina growing up in society where teachers assume that the reason a woman doesn't understand a tough math or science concept, is because of their gender. A society where women, especially of color, are discouraged from focusing on hard science.
As I grew older, I adapted and developed habits as a result of the systematic sexism that had become a normality in my life. The little girl that was once excitedly rose her hand with confidence became a young woman that muttered answers under her breath when the teacher asked for an answer. A woman that constantly sought approval of those around her and was afraid to speak up against her male classmates. I felt excluded from my own passions.
My experience isn't unique. I am one of the tens of thousands of young girls growing up in a world of systematic sexism. Part of the the tens of thousands of young girls that grow up in a world that under-represents women in STEM fields. Growing up without female role models with careers in technology and science, furthers the belief that the world of technology is a boys club.
The solution for the under representation in this field starts out early. Young girls need to be exposed to topics such as computer science from a young age so they can be motivated to study it. I wasn't exposed to computer science until this summer, when I had the privilege of being accepted into Girls Who Code. In the program, I was surrounded with strong women who understood what it was like to grow up in a society that constantly undermines them. I met powerful women who had excelled in their field and had made brilliant innovations. I created something of my own: Girl's Knight, an interactive game featuring a female protagonist that combated catcallers using pepper sprays. My team and I were able to overcome many challenges but in the end, we had a well-designed product that we were able to pitch to representatives of important companies like Verizon and even New Jersey senator, Cory Booker at graduation.
My experience at Girls Who Code taught me more than computation skills, it taught to be an active, confident individual with a voice. An individual that is unafraid to pursue a career in engineering, despite any of the discrimination that she faces. I am able to speak up for those young girls who have been silenced by this world's systematic sexism and racism. Young girls have the right to become aerospace engineers or computer scientists if they wish; they shouldn't be held back by the fact that they identify as female. I aim to become an individual that inspires young girls to push through obstacles and create revolutions. To not be afraid to be loud and heard. To be part of the statistic that closes the gender gap in the STEM field.