hus4144
Dec 1, 2015
Undergraduate / Building a bridge from my visions to my reality - Claremont McKenna Short Essay Question [3]
I'm trying to submit my application to CMC as soon as possible but I am stumped on my short essay. I don't know if I am telling them what they are asking and could really use an outside opinion. I've been going back and forth and I've written this over about three times. My word choice isn't all that advanced because I wanted to write as naturally as possible. Any help is greatly appreciated.
I am really struggling with the last sentence and do not know if it's necessary/works towards my point.
Prompt: What influenced you the most in your decision to apply to CMC? Please limit your response to no more than 200 words.
That burning desire to fuel my passion was so deeply rooted in me. Entering the business field and following my dreams was what I so desperately wanted to do. My visions of my future as a successful entrepreneur needed a bridge to connect it to what was on the other side: my reality. The bridge that can support the weight of my aspirations is offered at Claremont McKenna. With my unchanging plans to major in Business, I have fallen in love with Claremont McKenna. The small classroom size, the open mindedness that fills the campus, and The Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurship, especially, quickly drew me in with their ability to help me achieve my dream: beginning my own business. The immense collection of knowledge that I'd be able to gain from understanding the viewpoints and thoughts of my classmates and professionals in the business field is what I hope for. By being able to provide me with the resources necessary to prosper and achieve my dream career, Claremont McKenna's Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurship is something that I'd like to be a part of in order to fuel my burning passion for the world of business, more specifically entrepreneurship.
I'm trying to submit my application to CMC as soon as possible but I am stumped on my short essay. I don't know if I am telling them what they are asking and could really use an outside opinion. I've been going back and forth and I've written this over about three times. My word choice isn't all that advanced because I wanted to write as naturally as possible. Any help is greatly appreciated.
I am really struggling with the last sentence and do not know if it's necessary/works towards my point.
Prompt: What influenced you the most in your decision to apply to CMC? Please limit your response to no more than 200 words.
That burning desire to fuel my passion was so deeply rooted in me. Entering the business field and following my dreams was what I so desperately wanted to do. My visions of my future as a successful entrepreneur needed a bridge to connect it to what was on the other side: my reality. The bridge that can support the weight of my aspirations is offered at Claremont McKenna. With my unchanging plans to major in Business, I have fallen in love with Claremont McKenna. The small classroom size, the open mindedness that fills the campus, and The Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurship, especially, quickly drew me in with their ability to help me achieve my dream: beginning my own business. The immense collection of knowledge that I'd be able to gain from understanding the viewpoints and thoughts of my classmates and professionals in the business field is what I hope for. By being able to provide me with the resources necessary to prosper and achieve my dream career, Claremont McKenna's Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurship is something that I'd like to be a part of in order to fuel my burning passion for the world of business, more specifically entrepreneurship.