Undergraduate / Intellectual vitality. Does the core of the essay reflect what Stanford is looking for? [6]

I did numerous little tweaks, and it would not make sense to individually post each small tweak -- so I am reposting the entire essay. Note that this is exactly 250 words -- I'm having trouble fitting any more details in. Is there any specific portion I could cut out to make room? In addition, I believe the intellectual development would be my newfound passion for computer science, but if that's not clear I would love to hear suggestions on how to make it so.

When I had received my first computer in the 7th grade, I had no intention of doing anything with it but play flash games and do schoolwork. It was an old corporate hand-me-down laptop that barely ran Windows XP and was almost 10 years old at the time, but came at no cost to neither me nor my family. As I booted up the system, everything was familiar. But as I continued to use the computer, I began to think: what more was possible with this seemingly insignificant machine?

And thus I began my foray into programming and everything else having to do with computers. I had everything to gain and nothing to lose from this costless device, and with that kind of freedom, I set out to learn, and more importantly, try, everything I could. I trawled the Internet in my search, and found an information saturated world to explore. Eventually, I learned to program in BASIC and a little bit of C from my adventures, and while also coming to find a passion for the computing field.

For me, I derive my intellectual vitality from an intense curiosity of my surroundings. As with my first computer, a simple question became the grounds for the discovery of a personal joy. With this attitude, I find myself inadvertently searching for knowledge every day. Because of this, I often find myself spending far too much time on a certain internet encyclopedia, but if given the choice, I wouldn't change a thing.

Undergraduate / Intellectual vitality. Does the core of the essay reflect what Stanford is looking for? [6]

OK, so I think I understand what you are saying. I decided to try and improve my existing essays with concrete examples as to why I like programming, some examples of things I did with programming, and finally, a reflection on those things. I also fixed any contradictions and unimportant extras. I cut out generic material at the end of the essay and this is what I have. I decided to keep the "seemingly insignificant machine" because I am trying to create a sense that I(in 7th grade) didn't realize the potential that computing had to offer

When I had received my first computer in the 7th grade, I had no intention of doing anything with it but play flash games and do schoolwork. It was an old hand-me-down laptop that barely ran Windows XP and was almost 10 years old at the time, but was of no cost. However, as I continued to use the computer, I began to think: what else was possible with this seemingly insignificant machine?

And thus I began my foray into the computing world. I had everything to gain and nothing to lose from this costless device, and with that kind of freedom, I set out to learn, and more importantly, try, everything I could. I trawled the Internet in my search, and found an information saturated world to explore. In particular, programming intrigued me - it was like teaching a dog to perform tricks, albeit with a keyboard and carefully structured syntax. As I tinkered with code, I made a password protected journal, a recreation of the game Snake, and a (admittedly insecure) password holder. Looking back, those are trivial to implement, but at the time, I was ecstatic at the power I held. Eventually, I became proficient in BASIC and a little bit of C from my adventures, and while also coming to find a passion for the computing field.

For me, I derive my intellectual vitality from an intense curiosity of my surroundings. As with my first computer, a simple question became the grounds for the discovery of a personal joy.