giovanni_lucky
Jan 17, 2016
Undergraduate / My FIRST SALES EXPERIENCE - SMU ESSAY on the highlights of important achievements or contributions [7]
Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. These can also include your work experiences. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman/sportswoman, musical/artistic talent, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)
I joined a youth camp where I had the opportunity to experience the lives of rural people of Yogyakarta. I learned a valuable lesson of the power of compassion and sincerity. The warmth of the residents had me forgotten that I was staying in a house crafted out of dirt and bricks. I had to wake up earlier than the sun to nurture the farm, but the chatting along the way erased every trace of drowsiness. These people treated me like I was their family, although I had only known them for hours. They seemed satisfied with their condition despite having rugged shirts and ill-fitted sandals.
During our trip back to the city of Jakarta, I proposed to the youth group that we set up a fund-raising event so we can give back to the residents. I didn't have any selling experience, but the drive to reciprocate the kindness of the residents was my motivation. During my stay, I was taught how to bake traditional Yogyakarta cake. I fell in love with it, and I believe the people of Jakarta will too. After deciding on the product, I had to devise an appropriate pricing strategy that is within the customer budget. First, I calculated the cost of ingredients. I proceed to research the average spending of the people of Jakarta by asking cake shops as I will be adding a percentage from the cost so that it falls between the spending ranges. Being a salesperson wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I had nervous breakdowns and often I ran out of words. However after a short demonstration by my mentor, I observed key points that contributed to his success and tried applying it. I observed that body language and polite manners. is of paramount importance; expressing what word cant. Establishing familiarity with customer is as important as trying to convince customer about your product.
The event went on smoothly and I enjoyed the thrill of selling. Collectively, the entire camp garnered enough profit to purchase new sandals and outfit for the entire seventy-five residents. The head of the village personally came to Jakarta a few days later just to thank us. I was touched by his effort and didn't realize that the tears of joy were racing down my cheeks.
I believe that my perspective has changed ever since I joined the youth camp. Happiness is not always about making yourself happy, it can also be achieved when you make others happy. I even learnt important entrepreneurial techniques that might be useful in the future.
How do i make a catchy intro?
Is the flow of logic reasonable?
Opinion on the conclusion?
I need to cut down to 300 words but I have a hard time cutting out the irrelevant ones
Help is appreciated thank you :)
Describe the highlights of your most important achievements or contributions. These can also include your work experiences. If you have any outstanding talent (e.g. national sportsman/sportswoman, musical/artistic talent, run a successful business, outstanding community service), please include them as well. (Max : 300 words)
I joined a youth camp where I had the opportunity to experience the lives of rural people of Yogyakarta. I learned a valuable lesson of the power of compassion and sincerity. The warmth of the residents had me forgotten that I was staying in a house crafted out of dirt and bricks. I had to wake up earlier than the sun to nurture the farm, but the chatting along the way erased every trace of drowsiness. These people treated me like I was their family, although I had only known them for hours. They seemed satisfied with their condition despite having rugged shirts and ill-fitted sandals.
During our trip back to the city of Jakarta, I proposed to the youth group that we set up a fund-raising event so we can give back to the residents. I didn't have any selling experience, but the drive to reciprocate the kindness of the residents was my motivation. During my stay, I was taught how to bake traditional Yogyakarta cake. I fell in love with it, and I believe the people of Jakarta will too. After deciding on the product, I had to devise an appropriate pricing strategy that is within the customer budget. First, I calculated the cost of ingredients. I proceed to research the average spending of the people of Jakarta by asking cake shops as I will be adding a percentage from the cost so that it falls between the spending ranges. Being a salesperson wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I had nervous breakdowns and often I ran out of words. However after a short demonstration by my mentor, I observed key points that contributed to his success and tried applying it. I observed that body language and polite manners. is of paramount importance; expressing what word cant. Establishing familiarity with customer is as important as trying to convince customer about your product.
The event went on smoothly and I enjoyed the thrill of selling. Collectively, the entire camp garnered enough profit to purchase new sandals and outfit for the entire seventy-five residents. The head of the village personally came to Jakarta a few days later just to thank us. I was touched by his effort and didn't realize that the tears of joy were racing down my cheeks.
I believe that my perspective has changed ever since I joined the youth camp. Happiness is not always about making yourself happy, it can also be achieved when you make others happy. I even learnt important entrepreneurial techniques that might be useful in the future.
How do i make a catchy intro?
Is the flow of logic reasonable?
Opinion on the conclusion?
I need to cut down to 300 words but I have a hard time cutting out the irrelevant ones
Help is appreciated thank you :)