Scholarship / What do your parents think about your studying in Japan? (unlimited words) [7]

Hi Jamie,

I also applied for a scholarship earlier this year, so that, hopefully, my understanding about this kind of essays in general might be helpful. Personal speaking, i found your bit's content mainly discussed about how your parent overcame their negative thoughts themselves and how they supported you in your future studies. It seems that your parents paved everything for you, such as the idea of applying for a scholarship was also came from them.

I believe it is also important to show your contributions toward your future somehow, even though the mainstream should be remained as about your parents.

Keep up the good work!

Cún

Scholarship / What do your parents think about your studying in Japan? (unlimited words) [7]

I think it shouldnt be a problem to add few sentences about how you solved your parent's worries, or the process of how their mind changed after your inputs (you have already mentioned some good points, so i believe that rearranging them a bit might work)... But, please be very careful when mentioning those because it could be just one step away from making the essay all about your stories...