Posts by wendyli328

wendyli328

Jan 1, 2017

Undergraduate / Rice Personal Perspective Essay- My dad's alcoholism [5]

I agree with Devnater that this essay would benefit if you talk more about how you felt. Right now, only the last paragraph and a little bit of the second last is dedicated to what you learnt. Perhaps add some more in-depth understanding of alcoholism:

IE. alcoholism may not be a choice but is a genetic disorder. So blaming the alcoholic does not help them. Therefore, you learned to be empathetic.

wendyli328

Dec 29, 2016

Undergraduate / MATH - an amazing experience. Talk about an extracurricular activity [4]

Personally, I like the second version better. Your in depth description of each scene paints a better narrative of your experience. Your first one is good as well, but I think some of your sentences are unnecessary, especially when you only have 150 words. For example, I'd take out:

"My first travel alone to a competition in other state was at the short age of 12, I can't imagine how worried my parents were." and "Most of my preparation for these competitions was studying at home" and use the word count to describe more in depth about what you enjoyed from your travels.

For both of the essays, there are a few glitches in grammar. For example, for the second essay, it sounds kind of awkward to say "I'm always eagerly waiting for meeting with them", maybe "to meet them" ? There are also a few instances where your sentence was too long, making it a bit too convoluted. Maybe break it into two!

wendyli328

Dec 29, 2016

Undergraduate / Yale supplementary essay: Sociology and Library [2]

Sociology and Library

Why do these areas appeal to you?

I'm intrigued by people. Hundreds of people roaming by me daily, hundreds of parallel little universes. I feel their truths, lies, and emotions. When I see stars, I don't marvel at the geometric perfections or the mathematical derivations, I wonder at the existence of humanity within the scope of science. I attempt to discover the raw forces that motivates everything, from momentous events in history to why my neighbor lied about having a cherry tree. I search for the origin, the birthplace of all motivations. My pursuit to discover the intricacies of humans brought me to the doorsteps of Sociology.

Why does Yale appeal to you?

I start my journey at the heart. The magnificent nave of Sterling library. In my search for knowledge, I'd get lost between the columns of books that tell the stories of an erudite eternity, an extension of the same story that Yale tells in its lecture halls. Each book is inked with memories, of worn corners and smears, remnants of the 3am nights awake, or the midnight trips to buttery with suite-mates. Here, time merge together. The generations before me left their invisible etchings. Tom Wolfe. Anderson Cooper. A trail of glory. I yearn to be part of Yale's story.