jessekene
Jan 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication, however I disagree... [5]
Hi Ichaa,
Your essay is okay, but I don't think it addresses the prompt strongly. In the second paragraph,where you say 'Firstly, internet is media to keep a good relationship between people especially their parents.' you state a benefit of the internet but you unconsciously contradict your notion. Remember, your essay should explicitly show why you think the internet is negative.
Furthermore, your essay contains various grammatical errors. One such error is the use of the word 'internet' instead of 'the internet.' Remember that there is only one internet which is why you should say 'the internet' You can eliminate most grammatical errors by typing into a word processor before you upload.
You can modify the second sentence of the entire essay to read 'Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication but I disagree' Remember that you are meant to have a stand, not support both views.
Hi Ichaa,
Your essay is okay, but I don't think it addresses the prompt strongly. In the second paragraph,where you say 'Firstly, internet is media to keep a good relationship between people especially their parents.' you state a benefit of the internet but you unconsciously contradict your notion. Remember, your essay should explicitly show why you think the internet is negative.
Furthermore, your essay contains various grammatical errors. One such error is the use of the word 'internet' instead of 'the internet.' Remember that there is only one internet which is why you should say 'the internet' You can eliminate most grammatical errors by typing into a word processor before you upload.
You can modify the second sentence of the entire essay to read 'Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication but I disagree' Remember that you are meant to have a stand, not support both views.
