Posts by kenthai [Suspended]

kenthai

Feb 1, 2017

Writing Feedback / task 2 ielts - celebrity's privacy; should every rumour of the famous be published by media? [5]

Personally , I think that you're quite competent at using Transitional Words to describe your ideas (e.g. therefore, consequently, furthermore)
No spelling errors found ! However , Your sentence length is below average. You may need to focus on writing more complex sentences.

... people are concerned about the private lives of famous people.
... views that information about the famous -> notable individuals should be published by media .While some people argue that [...] respected to keep their own privacy. -> The meaning of this statements really confuses me

...............
Moreover, there is a symbiotic relationship between celebrities and the media. -> great vocab

In spite of these arguments...

-> The ideas of this paragraph seem not to be well described despite the fact that it's quite relevant to the point and easy to expand,

kenthai

Feb 1, 2017

Writing Feedback / [IELTS task 2] Lack of Learning languages and children development in the modern society [2]

Topic :Some children do not have the ability for learning languages.Therefore , schools should not make children do that.Do you agree or disagree.
Please give me appropriate band for this essay , thanks

no incentives to sharpen children's linguistic skills

In the contemporary society , the question whether school-aged individuals , who could not obtain mother-tongue basically , should not be forced to cultivate their personal ability by the ministry of education have drawn much attention from society.Personally , I give my firm opposition to this notion .

Foremost,It is a fallacy that children should be not given incentives to sharpen their linguistic skills by their teachers.Therefore,due to the fact that communication by some distance hold a vital position in nowadays lifestyles ,transborder collaboration and international or domestic negotiation,it is obviously crucial for the regulatory bodies to force schools to invest more enormous influx of fundings,human resources to help their exceptional students well-roundedly flourish as ordinary offsprings despite their innate malformation refrain language-based development.From the social perspective , education support empowers children to be able to communicate , in the long term , not only help aforementioned individuals enhance prospective opportunities ,widen personal horizon to get access to contemporary society but also pave the way for the government to generate intellectually well-equipped generations to reinforce financial budgets , foster prosperity especially with knowledge-based economy such as the U.S or VN in the future.If it wasn't for any act of assistant, children would encounter numerous obstacles to survive and thrive in such competitive world.

However, to figure out appropriate initiatives needs immediate involvement of both individuals and families ' endeavour besides schools support.As referred previously , since it exert massive effects on personal life , not only mother-tongue but also English could be seen as precursor to facilitate students career become brighter.Accordingly , these extrinsic factors will be collateral culprits to help school-aged individuals satisfy the instant quest for overseas occupation , keep abreast of latest global information.For instance , world would have missed significant scientific breakthroughs if it hadn't been for family support for Albert Einstein , who have suffered from lack of communication,

In conclusion, it is necessary for schools encourage children to improve language skills regardless of inborn restrictions and external assistance will be firmly crucial.