Posts by SARAsajedi91

SARAsajedi91

Apr 11, 2017

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: Poor memory in modern life [6]

... as a prevalent human ~~condition~~ problem.

... as immerse data as a computer doES. The technology makes it? (WHAT IS (IT) even easier ...
The dependence of technology weakens~~, therefore,~~ human memory capacity.

SARAsajedi91

Feb 14, 2017

Writing Feedback / Today's kids ailments same like among adults. The example - obesity. [12]

Thanks a lot Holt for your speaking. I try to read articles and then write them again. and follow your suggestion.
for okorobiadimma14, my listening can be improved even 7. and my speaking is 6.5 and my reading is 6. But, my writing has not been improved at all. actually, I do not know how to improve it. I want to take IELTS exam for the universities. my overall is 6 academic and I need 6.5 academic IELTS.

SARAsajedi91

Feb 13, 2017

Writing Feedback / Today's kids ailments same like among adults. The example - obesity. [12]

dear thanks a lot for your tips but honestly speaking, My writing has not changed after 8 years. I write thousands wiring. I know about your criteria. But, I could not change my writing at all. I read one writing with band score 8 and try to write similar that wiring. But my writing band score is 5 and that writing band score is 8. Please guide me to solve my big problem. after so long studying and reading, my writing does not change. I took IELTS exam five times but every time I got 5.5 band score. so, some thing should be in my writing that have to be improved.

SARAsajedi91

Feb 13, 2017

Writing Feedback / Today's kids ailments same like among adults. The example - obesity. [12]

thanks a lot for all of your points. but I have to increase my band score in writing. please give me some tips by which I can get better results in IELTS

SARAsajedi91

Feb 13, 2017

Writing Feedback / Today's kids ailments same like among adults. The example - obesity. [12]

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

The new lifestyle and lack of immunity

These days children have many diseases which in the past were just for elderly people. Some bad habits and new lifestyle cause this problem. I have some suggestions about this problem.

It is obvious many junk food and prepared food are easy found, which have many high Cholesterols. Young people just have them because they do not like to spend a lot of time to cook the healthy food. Also, their parents do not have a lot of time to prepare home-made food. Therefore, children tend to eat some unhealthy food in the restaurant or cafe. Moreover, children do not have a lot of exercises or physical movements. So, their bodies produce many fat.

There are many ways to prevent some disease in the early age. By buying regularly fruits and vegetables instead of junk food, children are encouraged to eat healthy food. Also, spending more time to walk to go to the school instead of regularly driving the cars to take and put children, children can have exercise. Also, children should have some courses for sports. Moreover, they should know about importance of healthy body. For example, they should be thought about some consequence of bad lifestyle.

In conclusion, children have some problems as result of new lifestyle. They have some diseases that people in the past suffered in the old age. Children do not have healthy nutrition. Also, they do not have exercise as the same level as children used to have in the past. For increasing the number of children having these diseases, spending some time to have physical movement and providing some healthy food can prevent this problem.