Undergraduate / I plan to get a doctorate in Clinical Neuropsychology - UNIV. OF TEXAS SOP (PSYCHOLOGY/NEUROSCIENCE) [6]

I added some stuff that you suggested. I hope that it is better now

In my opinion, the human brain is arguably the most fascinated organs in our body. It leads every aspect in our life; biological and behavioral. If any part of that gray matter happens to be injured, our body system along with our demeanor would be liable to suffer. Currently, a student at Lone Star Community college in Texas, I wish to orientate myself towards the study of the brain and its correlation with the personality. I think that the death of my father is the source of my intention to be a Neuropsychologist. Learning my uncle killed him was a shock. I couldn't believe that someone, without being sick, could do something like that to his own brother. Growing up, I wanted to be a neurologist, however, when in High school I came across Freud's "Introduction to Psychoanalysis" book, my interest in the human psyche expanded from its foundation. I read large excerpts from it. I remember being torn between finding him insane or a genius. After this initiation, I searched for other theories that would contradict his ideas: Behaviorism, Epigenetic etc... I craved not only to learn more about people's behavior but also understand its relationship with their brain. I was drawn to the idea of studying Neuropsychology. Maybe If they were a correlation between my uncle's actions and a mental illness that he might have, I would find the courage to forgive him. Thus, thanks to my late father's professional network, I was able to work during Summer 2014 at a Psychologist office as a receptionist. The physician aware of my passion for Neuropsychology, gave me some pointers, notions, and books to read for a better understanding of that career.

By my various experiences, and encounters I know that I would like to concretely commit myself, after my Bachelor, to become one of the best clinical Neuropsychologist. Participate in a movement that will prevent or cure mental disorders would be a blessing. So once accepted into U.T, I plan on majoring in Neuroscience with a minor in Psychology. After receiving my bachelor degree, hopefully, cum laude, I count on continuing my education and get a doctorate in Clinical Neuropsychologist. I am confident that the UT onerous academic system will be a great springboard for my future career. The education that I will receive there will allow me to attack life challenges since I want to be one of the best, if not the best, in this profession. My ultimate goal is to expand my father's hospitals by adding this new department and make of his name, the greatest in the medical world in West Africa. Attending UT will be such a great honor and an important milestone to reach this goal. Also, very motivated, I am determined to train quickly in this field so that I could start working at a young age, save as much as possible and grow my network to finally fully focus on helping others through humanitarian organizations.

Undergraduate / I plan to get a doctorate in Clinical Neuropsychology - UNIV. OF TEXAS SOP (PSYCHOLOGY/NEUROSCIENCE) [6]

Hey Mary, thanks for answering
This is our prompt: The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.

And secondly, it is for a college application, for a bachelor.