Undergraduate / What really blew my mind was electricity. Waterloo "Engineering" essay [4]

Holt, thanks a lot for your response. The limit is 900 character, so it's fairly brief. Here is the revised version, which I feel like I kind of messed up. There are a couple things that I feel are weak, but I'm not exactly sure how I would fix them, such as the sudden conclusion out of nowhere and talking about electrical engineering too much without relating it to my abilities specifically. Not sure if the second one is a bad thing. Anyway, thanks in advance for your review P.S: this us the full question:

Engineering Interests and Goals (*Required)

Throughout my life, I have always tried to be a rational thinker, always observing the inner details of things. This has been largely due to the effect my parents (who are both Mechanical Engineers) had on me. But, even though I was impressed by my parents' Engineered way of thinking, I didn't want to pursue the same program. While engines and moving parts were interesting, what really blew my mind was electricity, because it is quite simply everywhere; We cannot go one day without using dozens of electrical devices. And it is absolutely fascinating to me how many of these tiny devices have such a huge impact on our lives. I believe that electrical engineers are the leading forefront of developing most technologies.

Undergraduate / Waterloo "reasons for choosing" essay - two portions answer [8]

Thanks a lot for your patience with me :D Writing isn't really my strong suit but I try to be persistent. I don't think there is need to post a revised version, since the only edits are removals

Undergraduate / Waterloo "reasons for choosing" essay - two portions answer [8]

So, should I remove all the other reasons and focus on co-op only, or should I find better reasons that don't sound like copy-pastes? Also, is the part about my country elaborate enough or do you think it needs modifications? Thanks in advance

Undergraduate / Waterloo "reasons for choosing" essay - two portions answer [8]

Thanks you, Sal, and Holt for your answers. I have began rewriting the essay and I was hoping you'd give me your feedback just to make sure I'm on the right track, unlike last time.

Writing Feedback / Critique on literature Review Introduction on Carbohydrate feeding on exercise performance [3]

Hello! I recommend that you use more pronouns like "they" and "it" (to make the essay more concise) because the word carbohydrates is repeated a lot at the beginning of consecutive sentences. Another example is this sentence:

Energy is required for muscle contraction and ATP is ...
It sounds kind of redundant because of how muscle contraction is repeated. Maybe change it to "Energy is required for muscle contraction which is enabled by ATP"

Hope this helps :D