Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@Holt
I am really grateful for all your responds in my essay, sincerely. The conclusion in here is that I am lacking on professional experience so then I can't complete this essay as you wish right? So, I need to gain more experience before applying for KGSP. I hope you're not the embassy staff who are going to review my essay because for me KGSP (master) is a program for knowledge and experience seekers who wants to be a problem solver in the future. Later, if I'm already professionally experienced, I am sure that I should not apply for Master program but I should apply for Doctoral, Research or even Professor Exchange. Thank you so much. Your help for me is uncountable.

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@Holt
Of course I really appreciate your help and I know that that I lack of professional experience. As I know KGSP is not requiring me to be such kind of professional for applying this program cause if it is true I might also apply for Chevening Scholarship that is requiring the applicants to have minimum two years of professional works. I am applying KGSP Master Program because my passion and interest brought me to them, I'd like to be given more experiences on doing research about Korea especially about the unification plan. I need to study about it in Korea because I really confuse about them, two countries who are using the same letter and language, why should they're being divided, hate each other and suspicious on each other. When I was an exchange student in Korea for about three years ago, there was a ferry accident in the south area of South Korea but there're still some citizen who blame it on North Korea. I really want to study about it because this problem is really confusing for me.

I do put away a paragraph and change it with another paragraph, I hope it is my final revision:

I was born in Kalimantan Island of Indonesia and raised by my parent in there until I was sixteen years old. At that age, I passed the national college exam and moved to another island. I was brave enough to go away from my home for studying because I was given Bidik Misi Scholarship from Government of Indonesia.

In my campus life, I prefer to join some cultural club and volunteering community rather than join some organizations because I enjoyed it more. I chose to join International Relations Saman Dance (IRSANCE), Taekwondo, Turk Kultural Merkezi for studying Turkey language and Student Teaching. I learned basic move of Taekwondo in my first year of college. At the same time, I also spent twice per week to voluntarily teach elementary students in rural area. Besides those activities, I also trained my skill for diplomacy as an IR student by being selected as delegate for Jogja International Model United Nations 2013, representing People's Republic of China. Those experiences are suporting me to be chosen in the selection for student exchange program in Kwandong University, Gangneung. That chance was giving me lots of advancement in my Korean language skills and made me able to watch Korean drama without subtitle.

Being selected as delegation for student exchange [....] while studying as master student in there.
One week after my graduation ceremony, me and my friends got a chance to professionally help Korean Association of Central Java held Semarang Korea Festival for the first time. It's fully funded by them, government of Semarang and Suara Merdeka, a big newspaper company in Central Java. We were being the festival organizer and Korean Association in Semarang as the client. I got paid about 150.000 won for that event. I'm so grateful being needed in that festival and even getting paid in something I passioned on, Korean culture.

It might sound not professional but my interest for Korean history and their unification plan started to grow when I watched drama Six Flying Dragons. The character from Korean History like Yi Bang Won and Jeong Do Jeon are really intriguing my political interest. Yi Bang Won who still wanted blood system for Joeson dynasty sounds like North Korea now while Jeong do Jeon idea for ending that system is similar like democracy or what is currently used by South Korea. Eventhough I didn't get that knowledge in my undergraduate program, I hope I'm going to get opportunity for focusing my study on it by applying in one of Korean Universities by being accepted as KGSP awardee.

Now it's been 4 months after my graduation, I have been waiting for KGSP to help me pursue a higher education because I realized that I still lack of professional knowledge about both of Korean countries. I already passed the beginner phase for my Korean language target. Now I am applying KGSP for the first time because I'd like to be an Indonesian IR academician who has advanced skill in knowledge about Korea, either language, history, diplomacy and politics. I also would like to learn about Korean unification plan as I still love Korean Historical drama. As it's not fully the right version of the history, I make sure to re-check it again on trustee source in internet. From Korean historical drama, I learned about Korean historical character like Sejong The Great, Admiral Yi Soon Shin, Sambong or Jeong Do Jeon and Korean Dynasty such as Silla, Goryeo, Baekje and Joseon. By applying for KGSP and majoring International Relations, I also would like to learn more about Korean History, Korean War and the plan of Korean unification so that I could be an expert in Korean Language, Politics and its Diplomacy. I even have a hope that in the future I'm going to help the unification plan of Korea. I hope KGSP is going to make my dream comes true.

______________

Thank you so much, sincerely.

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@bagusetyawan
@Holt

Here you go~
__________

I was born in Kalimantan Island of Indonesia and raised by my parent in there until I was sixteen years old. At that age, I passed the national college exam and moved to another island. I was brave enough to go away from my home for studying because I was given Bidik Misi Scholarship from Government of Indonesia.

I began to love foreign language since I was in junior high school with bilingual class system. Around that time, Korean Drama was coming through drama 꽂보다 남자. My friends were searching the sountracks and I tried to write the lyrics in Hangeul. That's starting to be my passion in live. Now, let me tell you about the history of my political interest. There was a speech task for Bahasa Indonesia subject while the other students explained about water or enviroment but I was explaining about why should the member of House of Representatives of Indonesia be given Toyota Camry (I forgot the version and the price but it was absolutely expensive) as their transportation for official works. I think that's how my passion for foreign languages and my interest in politics brought me to focus on International Relations.

In my campus life, I prefer to join some cultural club (...)

Being selected as delegation for student exchange (...)

One week after my graduation ceremony, me and my friends got a chance to professionally help Korean Association in Semarang held Semarang Korea Festival for the first time. It's fully funded by them and Suara Merdeka. We were being the festival organizer and Korean Association in Semarang as the client. I got paid about 150.000 won for that event. I'm so grateful being needed in that festival and even getting paid in something I passioned on, Korean culture. Now it's been 4 months after my graduation, I have been waiting for KGSP to help me pursue a higher education because I realized that I still lack of professional knowledge about Korean Politics and languages. I already passed the beginner phase for my Korean language target. Now I am applying KGSP for the first time because I'd like to be an Indonesian IR student who has advanced skill in Korean language. I also would like to learn about Korean unification plan as I still love Korean Historical drama. As it's not fully the right version of the history, I make sure to re-check it again on trustee source in internet. From Korean historical drama, I learned about Korean historical character like Sejong The Great, Admiral Yi Soon Shin, Sambong or Jeong Do Jeon and Korean Dynasty such as Silla, Goryeo, Baekje and Joseon. By applying for KGSP and majoring International Relations, I also would like to learn more about Korean History, Korean War and the plan of Korean unification so that I could be an expert in Korean Language, Politics and its Diplomacy.

________

I just edit, delete and put few new experiences. I do not know anymore what I should delete or add based on my experience cause I already put it all.

Writing Feedback / Some people claim that the goal of politics should be the pursuit of an ideal. Others argue ... [4]

@paras01
I am confuse on what are you want us to write in comment box, either an answer based on opinion and fact or essay critique for your writing skill, since you didn't told us in advance.

I prefer the realistic one. But~
I believe that everyone has their own idealism or some people prefer to called it their principal of life. They choose it based on what they want to choose, not based on how many profit or loss they could count. They choose it based on which profit they want to take or loss they want to left behind, once again, not on how much it can be counted.

In North Korea case, the government chose their idealism for absolute power to control their country without any critiques from their citizen. Surely, it already brings them into poor economical conditions but with the power to protect their country with full mode on military for defense and ability to give an attack for their offense in the future. That's what being called as loss but still profitable.

That's a half different with Trump's condition in US these days. With full of liberty and good economical condition, he can't fully control US citizen's act to hate him for his unrealistic idea.

That's my argument. I'm sorry if it'll sound like amateur's comment for you.
Good luck.

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@bagusetyawan
Did you read the first essay of me or the revised one?
If you feel the revised one still has more high school experience than it supposed to, then I'll cut it again. Especially the part kkotboda namja like @Holt

just said, I'm going to change it with the better one.

Thank you.

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@MaRo01
@bagusetyawan
@Holt
@Peaches07

Here you go~

I was born in Kalimantan Island of (...)

I was the top student in my elementary (...)

In my campus life, I prefer to join some cultural club and volunteering community rather than join some organizations because I enjoyed it more. I chose to join International Relations Saman Dance (IRSANCE), Taekwondo and Student Teaching. I learned basic move of Taekwondo in my first year of college. At the same time, I also spend twice per week to voluntarily teaching elementary students in rural area. Those experiences are suporting me to be chosen in the selection for student exchange program in Kwandong University, Gangneung. That chance was giving me lots of advancement in my Korean language skill ability and made me trying to watch Korean drama without subtitle. The other unforgettable event for me is Fisiphoria 2014. That was an event happening after I coming back from my exchange program. Me and my dancing group got a chance to be the guest on the same stage with Nidji and Tulus.

Being selected as delegation for student exchange makes me wanted to give my feedback to International Office of my university by being an intern in there. I'm the second student from my Department who passed the selection to being and intern in that office. I have helped them in organizing 2 admission selection for Indonesian Scholarship for Master students from Developing Countries and admission selection for student exchange around ASEAN universities and fully funded by European Union. Those programs are called as KNB and SHARE. I help my university in the process of accepting 7 master students from Rwanda, Palestine, Sierra Leone, Ghana, Madagascar, Bangladesh and Thailand for KNB Scholarship and in the process of sending 25 students of my university to be an exchange student in ASEAN Universities in Cambodia, Vietnam, Philippine, Myanmar and Malaysia. It makes my university be the second rank university in term of outcoming students for SHARE scholarship Batch 2 after Mandalay University in Myanmar. I really proud of that work because those scholarship programs are the first chance for my university. It was an unforgettable experience and it'll be better if I also have a chance to be an intern in International Office of Korean University while studying as master student in there.

It's been 4 months after my graduation, I have been waiting for KGSP to help me pursue a higher education because I realized that I still lack of professional knowledge about Korean Politics and languages. I already passed the beginner phase (...)

___

Please help me~

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@Peaches07
Thank you for the suggestion but I'm sorry that I can't give any help for your poem because I just learn to write professional essay and barely know nothing about poem.

Anyway I have problem here and already contact the administrator. Do you know how to unmerged the merged posts? Looking forward for your answer.

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

Merged:

Experts in Korean Diplomacy, may I be one of them?

You must continue in the old one. Here you go.

Scholarship / Born and raised in Banjarmasin, Indonesia. My dream for KGSP [20]

@Holt I really appreciate your respond for my essay. I didn't used to write but once I tried to write then there will be so much things to write but they limit it just for one page. I'm going to follow your suggestion and write more about my college life and cut the high school part. Thank you so much.

Scholarship / 3. What is your greatest strength? Weakness? [Interview Qsn] [6]

As I learned how to answer 'your weakness' question, I think it's better if you explain the way you fight your weakness through the opportunity that you have already experienced not in the way you are waiting for the opportunity to experience it. Hope it'll help.