Writing Feedback / Many children have difficulty paying attention and concentrating in their classes at school [6]

Hello , could you please check my task 2, academic writing , any advice to improve to band 7

These days, many children have difficulty paying attention and concentrating in their classes at school.
What are the reasons for this?
How can it be dealt with?

children not engaged in school activities

One of the most controversial issues these days is how a quite difficult to children to concentrate with their teachers at school. There is a plethora number of people who discuss several major reasons. Many others, however, suggest several effective solutions. I plan to consider both sides in the following paragraphs.

some people put forward many strong reasons and the wakefulness is one of them. According to the recent studies which conducted in the US and some European countries in 2015, only 20% of pupples who get sleep enough. While 80% do not have sufficient sleep or even stay up until the go to school on the next day. Another decisive point is the teacher`s performance. Some teachers are still used the quite conventional ways to explain their lessons in this modern era. That means children will feel bored then they hard focus due to nothing to lured them. As we can see, this is the tip of the iceberg among various causes.

On the other hand, many people discuss several factual solutions such as organization. A parent should regulate their kid's life and that will affect directly on their children`s levels in the school and on their focus in particular. For instance, if the children sleep early, they will go to their classes with a wide awake and totally focus. The second extremely important undoing is the general atmosphere of learning which should be attractive. Hince, the school management capable of helping them with simple things. A particular perfect example is a class should be painted and decorated with attractive and energetic colors such as orange, yellow and green. clearly, it is easy to find workable solutions to such problem.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down saying that the solutions will work better and quicker if the parents the school work together.