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Mar 17, 2017
Undergraduate / Achievement Essay (Mall Management) - Application to SMU [2]
Hello fellow users, I appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism that will help to polish my essay.
The application is due soon T^T, so I hope to hear some comments soon. Thanking you guys in anticipation! (:
Describe the highlights of your most outstanding achievements or contributions (Maximum: 300 words).
There are several remarkable achievements that I am proud to have accomplished under my belt. One such achievement was my involvement in mall management during my internship.
When I was deployed to a site during my internship as a property officer, I had assisted the complex manager in putting forth a proposal to the property developer. The proposal presented has benefited the development by extending the free parking promotion. Simultaneously, the shopping mall saw an increased footfall in the coming months after the free parking promotion was prolonged.
As the current free parking promotion was expiring, the manager was searching for an approach to extend it. I initiated to put forth a visual report in forms of tables and charts since graphical presentation could envision and bring attention to the developer the upward trend of people utilising the promotion. The manager agreed to my idea, and I was tasked with handling the data. I analysed the relevant statistics provided and produced various charts for him to work with. I even drafted the report for the manager for his recommendation.
When the developer reviewed the proposal, the executive was impressed with the information presented and gave his approval to extend the promotion. With the tabulation and compilation of data into a visual report, it aided in the decision making of the free parking proposal.
I am proud to have played a part in improving certain aspects of mall management. It is fulfilling as I have accomplished in increasing footfall of shoppers which in turn boosted the businesses of the retailers and shop operators. I am pleased that my input has aided the development in several ways during my internship.
Hello fellow users, I appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism that will help to polish my essay.
The application is due soon T^T, so I hope to hear some comments soon. Thanking you guys in anticipation! (:
involvement in mall management
Describe the highlights of your most outstanding achievements or contributions (Maximum: 300 words).
There are several remarkable achievements that I am proud to have accomplished under my belt. One such achievement was my involvement in mall management during my internship.
When I was deployed to a site during my internship as a property officer, I had assisted the complex manager in putting forth a proposal to the property developer. The proposal presented has benefited the development by extending the free parking promotion. Simultaneously, the shopping mall saw an increased footfall in the coming months after the free parking promotion was prolonged.
As the current free parking promotion was expiring, the manager was searching for an approach to extend it. I initiated to put forth a visual report in forms of tables and charts since graphical presentation could envision and bring attention to the developer the upward trend of people utilising the promotion. The manager agreed to my idea, and I was tasked with handling the data. I analysed the relevant statistics provided and produced various charts for him to work with. I even drafted the report for the manager for his recommendation.
When the developer reviewed the proposal, the executive was impressed with the information presented and gave his approval to extend the promotion. With the tabulation and compilation of data into a visual report, it aided in the decision making of the free parking proposal.
I am proud to have played a part in improving certain aspects of mall management. It is fulfilling as I have accomplished in increasing footfall of shoppers which in turn boosted the businesses of the retailers and shop operators. I am pleased that my input has aided the development in several ways during my internship.
