Undergraduate / BITS cricket team - Write about an incident that had the most profound influence on you [5]

I am applying to a B-school and I need help with the essay. Here is the first draft. I am looking to improve on the influence part (3rd and 4th paragraphs) and want to cut down on explaining the incident part (first 2 paragraphs) as this essay focuses more on the influence. All suggestions and edits are welcome.

Word count - 336
Required Word count - 300

Here goes the essay -------

The BITS cricket team

It was July 20, 2012, and I was still on the waiting list of one of India's premier and my dream engineering institute - Bits Pilani. I had already secured a seat in VIT, Vellore and their session had started a fortnight back. I started having doubts about getting into BITS as only one iteration of the result was left after this. Accessing the situation, my dad didn't take a chance and booked my ticket to VIT. What followed in the coming days taught me some important life-changing lessons.

Despite being physically present there, I was mentally absent. After spending a week in VIT I concurred that the exposure I needed to become better in life could not be found there. But I lacked the courage and confidence to take the decision to leave college as the only other option was to take a gap year. My parents were against taking a gap year which made the decision all more difficult. I guess I needed a trigger for that and soon it came.

July 30, 2012 - the day of the final iteration. My hands trembled as I logged onto the BITS admissions website. There were those daunting words - "Sorry....". I couldn't read further. I was devastated. I knew the time had come. I had to make a decision. Two days later, I left VIT after completing all the formalities.

Fast forward a year later, I was there on the BITS admissions website again. "Congratulations," it said.The decision I took on July 30, 2012, made me realise about the hidden quality I had - the ability to take critical decisions in pressure situations. That decision had a profound effect on my self-belief and confidence. This is the confidence that enabled me to be a part of various initiatives and leadership roles such as captaining the BITS cricket team.

I believe that ISB can give me a platform to build upon my abilities and give me the requisite skillsets to tackle diverse challenges and take initiatives to overcome them.