Writing Feedback / Some people believe that imprisonment is the most successful way to deal with criminals. Others thin [5]

@gabby12345 : I am also practising writing for the IELTS. There are some comments on your essay from my point of views, hope they can help.

1. your topic sentence in the introduction mentioned that " you still believe that detaining criminals in jail is the most effective form of punishment." so I think that you should focus on protecting your topic sentences : 2-3 reasons why putting criminals in jail is the most effective one,

2. your conclusion is some not clear out the topic sentence

3. it's an academic essay so I think it is unsuitable to write something like as life has been given by the Lord, it is also up to Him to decide when and how to take it bad.

4. On the other hand, you have used a wide range of vocabulary and grammatica structure. Good job then