Writing Feedback / Problems and Solutions to the Increase in Number of Flights as a Result of Tourism (IELTS) [4]

Jason,
I think that your essay is really good and I love reading it. However, as far as I know about grammar , I think there are just three mistakes in this essay like:

... burnt to produce energy, the amount of which given out is much ...
..., which, when too many are taken away to ...

because too many are, but too much is
There are two effective keys to the problem brought ...

I hope I can help you a bit to perfect your essay.
Good luck!