Undergraduate / Is my asian immigration essay too cliche? [6]

A week before my thirteenth birthday, my parents got divorced. Shattered and wounded, I stumbled into another life-altering event: my mother decided to move to America with me. Having said the hardest goodbye to my dad, I abandoned fifteen years of life in this small town of western china and landed in a world of unknowns.

I retrieved to a vulnerable newborn infant. First day of school blurred into a memory of being surrounded by indecipherable syllables and feeling helpless. I spoke broken English. I was placed in the most basic ESL classes. One day, I was told by a teacher I could hardly get into the state college: It felt like a bucket of ice-water poured onto my face, enraging the invincibility in my blood. For the next few months, I read like mad, from children's book to Pride and Prejudice, carrying a dictionary everywhere. Although nervous, I raised my hand more often in class, accumulating bits of confidence as I made coherent speeches. I would stand in front of a mirror, changing how my tongue moved to correct the eccentric accent. Desired to improve articulation, I made a brave decision: joining Forensics and Debate team.

That debater's words flew towards me like bullets from a machine gun; it was so fast I struggled to grasp its meaning. Panicked and embarrassed, I stuttered a speech that made the coach frowned on the first day. After countless practice rounds though, I gradually became accustomed to the speaking style, learned to form impactful arguments and expressed them clearly. It was amazing how far I had come; I was once rated the top speaker and qualified for the state tournament.

My confidence in speaking transformed me: no longer was I the introverted, inarticulate recluse, I enjoy having many friends. I was chosen to represent our robotics team by giving speech to hundreds of people; I promoted school activities by talking to individual classes; I organized school dances and community service. Finally, I was elected Student Council class treasurer and National Honor Society President. Raised above the crowd to be a leader, I am so glad that I made the decision of being strong and obstinate on that day, when someone told me success was impossible.

is this too cliche? how should I make it standout?