CallumW
Nov 5, 2017
Undergraduate / A personal experience, about when my dad was deployed to various places with the British Army [3]
I have only just started this essay and it is of course, nowhere near completed.
I just wanted to double check I was on the right lines; the idea of the essay is to talk about a personal experience, about when my dad was deployed to various places such as Iraq, Kosovo, Bosnia etc with the British Army and how this was difficult to cope with.
My plan is to slowly bring in the idea of him being in the army, and the pressure it put on my family, and talk about this gradually, as the essay gets longer.
You will see from the start of the essay I have no laid down the fundamentals or really even mentioned the fact about being in the army, going to get deployed etc.
Is this the right way I should be going with this?
Here's the essay (so far):
One of the biggest challenges I have ever faced was many moons ago, when after a long day at school, I came back to half the life I had just days ago. Half the happiness, half the wealth and half of the enjoyment of sitting in the same room watching TV on a Saturday night drinking tea and eating biscuits, with all three occupants of the household, including myself. Possibly the biggest motivator in my life was no longer a first source of motivation, because they were not there anymore. Of course, they came back, but the period of time that me and my mother were left alone was quite daunting. Constantly moving from Osnabruck, Germany, to Catterick Garrison, North East England and all throughout the rest of the country started to take its toll - but one thing this showed me for certain was that nothing was permanent.
Saying goodbye to my father a day before his departure was a challenging moment, and the question "is he going to come back" came to my attention after I wasn't able to see him go properly.
Scottish Essay Check
I have only just started this essay and it is of course, nowhere near completed.
I just wanted to double check I was on the right lines; the idea of the essay is to talk about a personal experience, about when my dad was deployed to various places such as Iraq, Kosovo, Bosnia etc with the British Army and how this was difficult to cope with.
My plan is to slowly bring in the idea of him being in the army, and the pressure it put on my family, and talk about this gradually, as the essay gets longer.
You will see from the start of the essay I have no laid down the fundamentals or really even mentioned the fact about being in the army, going to get deployed etc.
Is this the right way I should be going with this?
Here's the essay (so far):
One of the biggest challenges I have ever faced was many moons ago, when after a long day at school, I came back to half the life I had just days ago. Half the happiness, half the wealth and half of the enjoyment of sitting in the same room watching TV on a Saturday night drinking tea and eating biscuits, with all three occupants of the household, including myself. Possibly the biggest motivator in my life was no longer a first source of motivation, because they were not there anymore. Of course, they came back, but the period of time that me and my mother were left alone was quite daunting. Constantly moving from Osnabruck, Germany, to Catterick Garrison, North East England and all throughout the rest of the country started to take its toll - but one thing this showed me for certain was that nothing was permanent.
Saying goodbye to my father a day before his departure was a challenging moment, and the question "is he going to come back" came to my attention after I wasn't able to see him go properly.
