fordreamschool
Nov 15, 2017
Graduate / Challenges you faced, and the strengths you brought from contacting someone with different beliefs [3]
@Holt
Thanks for your suggestion! Actually a story about how i deal with the relationship between a vegetarian friend came to me. But, someone in favor of this first version told me my new story isn't a suitable choice because this one is just about different life style, and, more importantly, expose my narrow mind to the difference.
Eating with X, the student in our reading club, was a torture every time I saw him look through the menu, with eyebrows frowned, and carefully taste food as if they were poisonous. From my life experience, I couldn't understand why eating can be such a big problem for someone. He was more than a vegetarian. Actually, he didn't eat many kinds of vegetables, soy food and dairy products neither.
I had no idea to deal with our difference, so I began to refuse X's invitation to have a meal. But my unilateral escape may develop into a serious barrier in our relationship, since he possibly realized my estrangement. So struggling back and forth, I decided to frankly tell him my feeling. He was so surprised, "I never think it could be a problem." Finally I knew the story behind: in his childhood, when he was curious about where those animals in the yards finally went and asked his parents, they pointed at the dish saying "Here they are". "I feel so guilty. Moment ago I saw them alive, but then we kill and eat them!" From then on, he swore not to eat meat any more. "As for my peculiarity to food, I just can't control my fear of trying new food". This time, I was not astonished by his behavior itself, but by a boy's compassion and confirmed belief. Most importantly, his family supported and encouraged him rather than compelled him to follow the so-called correct life style and perspective with which most people agree. Thus, in such a tolerant environment, X didn't regard his difference as an obstacle in social relationship. On the contrary, under the impact of narrow-minded culture, which stresses the similarity but usually overlooks diversity, I rushed to define someone as weirdo and instinctively alienated him only because his behavior deviated from the mainstream.
Through this intimate conversation and thorough understanding, our relationship became closer. Later, each time we had a meal, I carefully selected restaurants, introduced each dish to him, and encouraged him to try some different food, except meat, to find which one he could accept. He sincerely appreciated my understanding and thoughtful consideration to help him conquer fear and shape a healthier habit.
Thanks to X, I not only learn to accept the different life-styles between us, more importantly, I realize that a culture with tolerance and respect to diversity shapes an open mind towards difference among people. Next time, I will understand, accept and then equally treat the others' different behaviors and viewpoints. And I strongly believe that agree to disagree is needed everywhere, no matter in my life, study, or future career. People may be mutually attracted by common interests, perspectives and backgrounds, but embrace the diversity can break the ice and then build a tight connection between each other.
@Holt
Thanks for your suggestion! Actually a story about how i deal with the relationship between a vegetarian friend came to me. But, someone in favor of this first version told me my new story isn't a suitable choice because this one is just about different life style, and, more importantly, expose my narrow mind to the difference.
Eating with X, the student in our reading club, was a torture every time I saw him look through the menu, with eyebrows frowned, and carefully taste food as if they were poisonous. From my life experience, I couldn't understand why eating can be such a big problem for someone. He was more than a vegetarian. Actually, he didn't eat many kinds of vegetables, soy food and dairy products neither.
I had no idea to deal with our difference, so I began to refuse X's invitation to have a meal. But my unilateral escape may develop into a serious barrier in our relationship, since he possibly realized my estrangement. So struggling back and forth, I decided to frankly tell him my feeling. He was so surprised, "I never think it could be a problem." Finally I knew the story behind: in his childhood, when he was curious about where those animals in the yards finally went and asked his parents, they pointed at the dish saying "Here they are". "I feel so guilty. Moment ago I saw them alive, but then we kill and eat them!" From then on, he swore not to eat meat any more. "As for my peculiarity to food, I just can't control my fear of trying new food". This time, I was not astonished by his behavior itself, but by a boy's compassion and confirmed belief. Most importantly, his family supported and encouraged him rather than compelled him to follow the so-called correct life style and perspective with which most people agree. Thus, in such a tolerant environment, X didn't regard his difference as an obstacle in social relationship. On the contrary, under the impact of narrow-minded culture, which stresses the similarity but usually overlooks diversity, I rushed to define someone as weirdo and instinctively alienated him only because his behavior deviated from the mainstream.
Through this intimate conversation and thorough understanding, our relationship became closer. Later, each time we had a meal, I carefully selected restaurants, introduced each dish to him, and encouraged him to try some different food, except meat, to find which one he could accept. He sincerely appreciated my understanding and thoughtful consideration to help him conquer fear and shape a healthier habit.
Thanks to X, I not only learn to accept the different life-styles between us, more importantly, I realize that a culture with tolerance and respect to diversity shapes an open mind towards difference among people. Next time, I will understand, accept and then equally treat the others' different behaviors and viewpoints. And I strongly believe that agree to disagree is needed everywhere, no matter in my life, study, or future career. People may be mutually attracted by common interests, perspectives and backgrounds, but embrace the diversity can break the ice and then build a tight connection between each other.
