Posts by eeeeeeehsan

eeeeeeehsan

Nov 16, 2017

Writing Feedback / Different opinions regarding weather children should be taught to be competitive or cooperative [5]

@Holt
Thank a lot Mary Rose or dear Holt. You remind me of Captain Ray Holt in Brooklyn 99 Tv series :)
I'll try my best to work on the points you mentioned.

eeeeeeehsan

Nov 16, 2017

Writing Feedback / We should make factories and other forms of industry pay for all the pollution that they have caused [3]

Dear Chinky, your essay seemed nice to me. However, I can give you some suggestions that you might want to consider.
You may amend your essay with reconsidering these:
'etc.."
"amongst" 3 times! Alternatives: among/between/amidst
"environmentally friendly" 2 times.
and etc.
There are a few words you could replace with other words. You can use power thesaurus website.

And here some good alternative words I try to use instead of "for". It make the essay more eye catching. Here you go:
beneficial to
concerning
conducive to
in consideration of
supposing
during
for the sake of
in favor of
in furtherance of
in order to
in place of
in pursuance of
in the direction of
in the interest of
in terms of
in an effort/attempt to

eeeeeeehsan

Nov 16, 2017

Writing Feedback / Different opinions regarding weather children should be taught to be competitive or cooperative [5]

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

competition and cooperation among children

People have different opinions regarding weather children should be taught to be competitive or cooperative. Although competitiveness can sometimes be profitable in life, but from my perspective trying to cooperate is more prominent.

On one hand, children challenging each other have some valuable benefits. First of all, whilst they strongly contest to achieve a precious end, not only they are unconsciously boosting their growth and aptitude, but also surely find out where their owns failings are. Consequently, this healthful rivalry may generate a persistent and also courageous child who confidently can dare outdoor difficulties. Moreover, being competitive not to mention in children's lessons make outstanding contributions to their encouragement in direction of diligence and so initiative.

On the other hand, sense of humanity and friendship never rises until children gather up and make common cause with each other over the life obstacles. To cite an example, children's friendly interactions on a after-school birthday party would be purposive. Their teamwork in order to buy birthday items, perfectly installing them, laying tables, preparing cake and all other stuffs require for a part together could teach them an important lesson of life. More precisely, if they become united they could win trough all the troubles and attain whatever their desire. Along side this, there are substantial advantages to it, some of which could be advance pace of progress, spread love and kindness, decrease of depression and etc. that worth to be considered.

On the whole, both competitive and cooperative characteristics of children are beneficent, but I believe children work together could derive crucial profits which would be useful in their future life.

(307 words)

Hi guys.
I hope you're doing ok. Really need your precious opinions regarding my essay. I'll be deeply grateful if you correct and give me an estimated band.

Thanks a lot in advance.