PositiveHao
Sep 9, 2009
Undergraduate / the president of school television network - UIUC Essay #2 [2]
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
Is there any additional information that you feel we should be aware of while reviewing your application, including extenuating circumstances that affected your academic record?
Is this passage lack of humble? I want to apply computer engineering major, does this passage seems to be unrelated? Is that two views not balanced?
Is this too long? Can you help me to shorten it? Can I apply this essay as common application activity short essay?
Really Appreciate Your Help!
My three years experience as the president of school television network not only helps me on learning professional skills like editing but also teaches me how to lead a team. First thing I learnt is about passion. Only a man in an unstrained condition can he exhibited his talent vigorously. I do not set up a series of rules; instead, I encourage everyone challenge the conventional wisdom. For example, once we were asked to shot a short film concentrate on health diet. We didn't following the old-fashioned suggestion. On the contrary, we made a video that a cool guy sang a rap song to express same idea. Sometimes, the school administration thought our ideas were too eccentric. They didn't think it's appropriate that a man dancing in the stage tried to convey "nothing is impossible." However, after I explained how this idea comes to our mind, and why it was the best way to show the theme, they just agreed and could not say back a word. So, it is no wonder we can produce TV program in anyway we want. I am so proud that I built a stage where everyone in our studio can gain gratification and confidence from persisting on things we love. With passion, we can work till mid-night; we can doubt the teachers we feared and we dare to show ourselves before camera connect to thousands of eyes. Another thing I want to mention is about understanding each other. In the process of making film, every one thinks actively and gets a dozen of great ideas. And often there are some divergence and argument when we working.
To relieve the situation, I always asked both sides to do another one's job. You know, I found that there is always a reason for doing something. Sometimes, we just focus what we need and neglect how others feel. Even I myself sometimes insist my view stubbornly and can not receive others' suggestion. By placing myself in others position, I begin to know how he / she may think. After experienced the opposite side's job, both sides realize another one's difficulties. I found this way is extremely helpful for both me and my friends. As we become considerate, our team is always united just like a big family. TV station is a remarkable memory in my high school life. I am sure that I will benefit from it in my whole life.
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
Is there any additional information that you feel we should be aware of while reviewing your application, including extenuating circumstances that affected your academic record?
Is this passage lack of humble? I want to apply computer engineering major, does this passage seems to be unrelated? Is that two views not balanced?
Is this too long? Can you help me to shorten it? Can I apply this essay as common application activity short essay?
Really Appreciate Your Help!
My three years experience as the president of school television network not only helps me on learning professional skills like editing but also teaches me how to lead a team. First thing I learnt is about passion. Only a man in an unstrained condition can he exhibited his talent vigorously. I do not set up a series of rules; instead, I encourage everyone challenge the conventional wisdom. For example, once we were asked to shot a short film concentrate on health diet. We didn't following the old-fashioned suggestion. On the contrary, we made a video that a cool guy sang a rap song to express same idea. Sometimes, the school administration thought our ideas were too eccentric. They didn't think it's appropriate that a man dancing in the stage tried to convey "nothing is impossible." However, after I explained how this idea comes to our mind, and why it was the best way to show the theme, they just agreed and could not say back a word. So, it is no wonder we can produce TV program in anyway we want. I am so proud that I built a stage where everyone in our studio can gain gratification and confidence from persisting on things we love. With passion, we can work till mid-night; we can doubt the teachers we feared and we dare to show ourselves before camera connect to thousands of eyes. Another thing I want to mention is about understanding each other. In the process of making film, every one thinks actively and gets a dozen of great ideas. And often there are some divergence and argument when we working.
To relieve the situation, I always asked both sides to do another one's job. You know, I found that there is always a reason for doing something. Sometimes, we just focus what we need and neglect how others feel. Even I myself sometimes insist my view stubbornly and can not receive others' suggestion. By placing myself in others position, I begin to know how he / she may think. After experienced the opposite side's job, both sides realize another one's difficulties. I found this way is extremely helpful for both me and my friends. As we become considerate, our team is always united just like a big family. TV station is a remarkable memory in my high school life. I am sure that I will benefit from it in my whole life.
