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Posts by ericattang
Name: Erica Mn Hu
Joined: Dec 28, 2017
Last Post: Jan 1, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
Likes: 2
From: United States
School: NDCL

Displayed posts: 4
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ericattang   
Jan 1, 2018
Undergraduate / Why Swarthmore? Swarthmore's commitment to collaboration and community service is amazing [4]

You support your claims with concrete examples, which is very good!!!
I suggest you to give some examples of civic engagement opportunities at Swarthmore that you would like to participate in if you get accepted.

Other than that, I don't see any problems with your essay. The connections you make with the values of the school are very genuine and reflect a lot about you as a person. :) Hope this helps!
ericattang   
Dec 28, 2017
Undergraduate / Fashion design has always intrigued me. Application essay. [3]

"Probably but in the end, I feel money is not the principal thing."
I suggest that you change this to: "Probably. But in the end, money is not the principal thing to me." (Avoid using "I feel" to make your voice stronger!)

I really love the anecdote about Piggie in the first paragraph. It provides readers with a very personal and unique perspective. However, I think that you should mention more about what you intend to do with the skills in fashion design. Anyone can write an essay about their leisure-time hobby without making a commitment. The key point is what are you going to do with it--to design clothes for the homeless kids? I believe that it's the way you will apply your passion that sets you apart! :)
ericattang   
Dec 28, 2017
Undergraduate / "My Passion for Environmental Protection" - Why NYU Essay [4]

Why NYU

There are countless reasons to love about NYU: the global-minded students and faculty, the energetic urban setting, the chance to learn from the world's most novel thinkers and creators, and so on. Among these unique things, NYU's accessibility to global campuses and the liberal studies program appeal to me the most and will benefit me in the future as I pursue a career in the field of environmental protection.

The global exposure at NYU helps me to excel in the field of environmental studies. My parents have always expected me to become a business person or a lawyer to sustain a desirable middle-class life. However, growing up in China, witnessing the damage of environmental pollution and the menacing consequences behind people's lack of awareness, I have devoted my heart to the environmental protection field for the goodness of the humankind. As the human network develops, I have realized that the sustainability industry has grown on an international scale. Environmental protection is the collaboration of all humans, not a competition between countries; therefore, a comprehensive understanding of global issues and backgrounds is indispensable to making strategic, successful decisions in the future. At NYU, I have the opportunity to take environmental courses in many countries, joining innovative ideas worldwide. I can also participate in global internships and learn to become more adaptable to the changing environment.

Moreover, I have realized that succeeding in the environmental protection field requires not only an in-depth understanding of global conditions but also a solid groundwork of various skills. In the future, I aspire to establish my own environmental NGO to engage more people worldwide in the act of environmental protection, and I recognize the extensive knowledge needed to succeed as a leader in the environmental protection field. I applied to the Liberal Studies Core Program at NYU because I want to spend two years of college strengthening my interpretation, critical thinking, and writing skills, which will be the pedestal for my future studies. Through the NYU Liberal Studies Program, I can also take classes to acquire knowledge on various topics, such as economics, management, and foreign policy. NYU provides me with the best opportunities to undertake groundbreaking work in the environmental science field in the future.

(I'm not sure if a conclusion is needed.)
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