Writing Feedback / The adopted policy of early education of foreing languages [4]

benefits of early learning of a foreign language

Hello! I would really appreciate that someone helps edit my IELTS writing task2 and gives some feedback for improving my grammar, word choice, sentence structures.:)

Please see the topic below:
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Here's my composition:

Generally, children are taught a foreign language at secondary school, but some educationalists suggest that primary schools should introduce foreign language to pupils. The policy has been adopted by some educational authorities and individual schools, which brings about positive and negative outcomes.

Starting learning a foreign language in primary school, some argue, can strengthen children's learning ability and broaden their cultural outlook. As children pick up languages more easily than adolescents, and their brains are still developing to acquire their mother tongue, learning another language can facilitate the learning area of their brains and deepen their understanding of their native language. Besides, the introduction of a foreign language also brings along with culture and history. By teaching songs or telling stories in a foreign language, pupils can have imaginative sympathy and appreciation of foreign culture.

However, the others concern that primary schools lack enough the educational profession in the second language. Another problem is the teaching style and its method. If children find it difficult or bored while learning another language and unable to receive proper assistance from teachers, learning foreign language early would still be not effective. Nevertheless, these issues can be improved by strategic policy.

In my opinion, early exposure to foreign language benefits children economically and culturally in the future. The advantages are not only job prospects at home and broad but also the opportunities of communicating with and understanding about another culture in a more respectful way. As a result, young kids' capacity and knowledge should be cultivated to achieve these benefits.

(254 words)