Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - Problems caused by media's projected image of beauty [5]

I think that a paragraph should contain minimal 2 sentences. Hence, it will be better if you divide your conclusion into 2 sentences.
The question asks about "can you suggest this?" you can add a sentence such as "I believe that there are some causes and solutions which I will explain in this essay" in introduction part. this can make your essay smother than you do not use it