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Posts by Amurik
Name: Nyamaa Gan-Od
Joined: Feb 18, 2018
Last Post: Feb 19, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
Likes: 1
From: Mongolia
School: Tomsk University of Control System and Radioelectronics

Displayed posts: 4
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Amurik   
Feb 18, 2018
Scholarship / Course and institution choice; word choice, confusing sentences of my answer on the question below. [3]

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?



Over the years of studying in Russia, I have received valuable knowledge and life experience. Became more mature, I began to understand better how everything in this life is arranged. But I have a lot of gaps and my belief that my little adventure in Australia of gaining unique knowledge and experience in this field can push me to fill this gap. To my decision to choose this path was two considerable things that did affect to my judgment, first - it was my supervisor in summer school in France, her passion to work with international students, communicate with all of them individually inspired me strongly. She told me that it's not easy how it seems to be, you not only need to know where students come from, but it's also important to know their culture, so you can understand all their aspiration. And I was thinking how I'm working with people from around the world; becoming friend with them, swapping ideas and learning all the best from the people. This is all really inspired me. The second reason is my ambition to try new things. When I was in France I felt with love with this language. But I discovered that trying to learn a language it's not only memorizing new words it much more complex, you need to learn their culture and think in a new way. Of course, it's difficult, but for me, it is an exciting challenge. Looking to course plan is also important for me when I was observing subjects in both Universities that I choose; I was interested in course related to the areas of my living and was excited to learn a lot from a different point of view. In addition to these subjects, it's a huge opportunity to learn a language for my own choice, not only because it's interesting but will be needed for my future. Area of studying was also significant. Studying in one of these two multicultural cities can improve what I learned in lessons in an everyday stroll. And studies in one of the high ranked universities in social sciences is highly motivating me.
Amurik   
Feb 18, 2018
Scholarship / STUNED Essay. Why you apply for the chosen program, what do you intend to do with your Master degree [4]

Hello. As I see there is a lot of mistakes.
1. .., number of entrepreneurs - the number
2. ... as a respected career choice ...
3. However, growth in number of ... - in a number or in the number.
4. ... the main drive for entrepreneurship. - I think driver could more fit this context, but I can be wrong.
5. ... international market places - Marketplaces
6. ... into successful - Consider adding article: a or the before successful.
7. skills need to lead ... - Seems like incorrect form of the verb need - needed
8. ... Netherland has high score ... - Add article before high: a or the
9. For me, it could implies that ... - After could the verb implies should be just imply
10. Therefore, studying University of Groningen, ... become best experience ... - in the University; the best
11. ... in national ... through creative industry that have a potential ... - add article before them; have does not fit with the singular subject so has
12. ... to get opportunity as ... - article, an or the
13. which rises as workforce grows ... - as the workforce
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