Undergraduate / Essay on the influence of my family and environment and how it has shaped me as a person [3]

Hello @harden2001, i'm suggest to you for changes a sentences "............. to be the person I am and the person I want to become."
Because i think that is weird or will understanding about who's reading your essay.
And i think will be better essay if you changes with this sentences "to became the person who my pleasure". Thank you 😊