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Posts by arielpvasconcelo
Name: Ariel Vasconcelos
Joined: Sep 20, 2018
Last Post: Sep 20, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Brazil
School: UFC

Displayed posts: 2
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arielpvasconcelo   
Sep 20, 2018
Scholarship / My life in a few words - KGSP - UNDERGRADUATE PERSONAL STATEMENT .... HELP [3]

Dear Aleja,

I believe your essay has some good points: your family background and history is a plus!
Although I think it's a very long motivation letter, see is you can reduce it, otherwise your reader might get tired.
the text feels a bit much on the personal side. Try focusing more on the good than the bad. This scholarship doesn't seem to take into account financial background, so try to brush through this subject smoothly, without being so direct.

If you can structure your text better with bio, experience, and why Korea I think you would have more chances..
arielpvasconcelo   
Sep 20, 2018
Scholarship / Motivation Letter for Scholarship by DAAD Integrated Urbanism and Sustainable Design [2]

chance for a master course and an internship in Germany



Hello!

I would appreciate any suggestions and constructive critic on this motivation letter:

Dear Selection Comitee,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in pursuing the Integrated Urbanism and Sustainable Design programme in Germany under a DAAD scholarship scheme.

I'm a young consultant in the field of Urban and Transport Planning. I started working after I finished my university education (Bsc. Architecture & Urban Planning). I've worked at Certare for a year now, and recently I was promoted to Architectural Project Coordinator. In the past year I grew a lot professionally, had many late nights and early meetings, but it was all worth it because It got me where I am right now. I think being out of the comfort zone is important for any professional. I appreciate the opportunity given to me by my employers and also see it as an opportunity to develop my leadership skills.

Even though I came from a planning background, I found its practicality extremely entangled. I have come across many deficiencies in the infrastructure planning process during my brief experience with urban planning. The different infrastructures (transportation, water, waste, etc) are usually planned and designed without taking the others into account. That type of situation can commonly be found in small and mid-sized brazilian cities. I think part of the reason for this is the distance between practice and university as well as the segregation of subjects at university.

In my point of view, the professionals responsible for general well-being (decision makers, policy makers, planners and designers) need to be, at least at the basis of their formation, generalists and to have a more systemic view of the built environment in order to integrate mass infrastructure, at least that's one of my concerns. I'm interested in this programme since I graduated. One of our most esteemed professors at UFC (Federal University of Ceara) was a student at IUSD. By doing the Integrated Urbanism and Sustainable Design master I could gain more knowledge in areas beyond my experience. This would make me a much more complete and confident professional in terms of analysing, planning and designing for the built environment.

I would like to acquire experience in other consulting firms during the course and hopefully, improve my german level as well. I believe both the master course and an internship would be highly valuable at my career stage.
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