Scholarship / ONE OF THE REASON TO STUDY IN UK IS BECAUSE OF HARRY POTTER - CHEVENING [9]

... the first thing that drew my attention to the UK

Your essay start is interesting, it immediately grabbed me but the body of the essay needs to be more focused on academics.

Scholarship / Leadership is crucial to success, and it's not about position. Chevening "leadership" essay [3]

This essay just talks about several of your de facto positions of leadership, not about how you actually developed your leadership skills and influenced people. I suggest you pick 2 or 3 specific examples and focus on expanding those, like say the mandatory service; how did you *take* the lead? What was your specific contribution in leading the group, show don't tell? How did you influence people to get specific results?