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Posts by leilo10
Name: londyn
Joined: Oct 10, 2018
Last Post: Oct 11, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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leilo10   
Oct 11, 2018
Undergraduate / My ticket of success, ticket of dreams and ambition - College essay "ticket in hand" prompt [6]

I get what your saying and thanks for your feedback. But what I am trying to do is paint a picture for the admissions officer. I will cut back though on talking about others and more about myself. But I do not plan on restarting this whole essay just taking out bits of it. Again, thank your feedback and all of it will be heavily considered.

And after which paragraph do you think I should talk about what happens after Anna wintours comments?
leilo10   
Oct 11, 2018
Undergraduate / Helping Community in Florida - MIT Supplemental Essay [3]

You answered the prompt thoroughly and it looks great! I would just maybe put how it makes you feel to help other people in your community eat healthier. Other than that, great job
leilo10   
Oct 10, 2018
Undergraduate / My ticket of success, ticket of dreams and ambition - College essay "ticket in hand" prompt [6]

Topic C College Essay Rough Draft:

You've got a ticket in your hand


-- Where will you go? What will you do? What will happen when you get there?


I step on a plane with a flood of other ambitious passengers: An aspiring actress, A future doctor, Future lawyer, Future missionary, Future teacher, An ambitious mother, An ambitious father, A future world renowned artist, A future NFL player, and even a future politician.

I step on a plane of people who have had dreams of being astronauts, surgeons, firefighters, and soldiers. On this plane everyone has the same ticket in their hand. They all have the ticket of success, a ticket of dreams and ambition. The pilot himself remembers that same ticket. It took him 1500 hours of training before he got to his destination. He finally makes the first stop and it's mine. For once I am first! After all my hard work, I am number one.

I go to Milan, then Paris, London, and New York. My dream of being front row at every fashion week, an influencer to many through my form of what I feel as timeless art, fashion. I sit at all these fashion shows, watching all of my ideas go from paper to reality. All of my ideas I have had since I was younger finally being viewed by myself, and other fashion influencers. I sit front row, right next to Anna Wintour.

"Stunning." She says under her breath. She says this about my clothes seen on the models! the clothes I had spent years developing into a masterpiece. A smile washes over my face. One of joy, achievement, and pure satisfaction. After all of my hard work, it has all finally paid off.

It is just a daydream though, and I am still a passenger on a plane of ambitious people. Of people of hopes and aspirations, people not afraid of failure and hard work. People that sleep and breathe their goals. So where does this ticket take me? A place where my dreams are fulfilled, I am content in this place, blessed to have gotten here, and my long journey to get there. A place where I have worked so hard to get to. Where my heart lies forever. A ticket that takes me to my dreams.

any feedback would be great! thank you!!!!
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