petamat
Oct 23, 2018
Undergraduate / 'Playing around in microchip design' - My interest in studying at Michigan - Prompt [4]
Thanks for the info! Thanks for the constructive feedback. I have changed the sentences that you highlighted in order to make them more friendly:
'Electronic Sensing Systems'? Wow, 'Learn to find your targets and destroy them' sounds like a really fun course!
The COM-BAT program? If that doesn't sound like it'd be a heck of a time there, playing around in microchip design, than I don't know what would.
... by an especially cruel ... -> replace with clever
I've also changed up the concluding paragraph to make the whole paragraph more positive instead of the negative vibe that it had going on:
What you do ... will be much harder. Some people work so hard that they have to stay up late at night in order to complete work.
I say bring it on.
I am motivated by the challenge that Michigan brings to the table and I want to show the University what I can accomplish with that challenge.
Are there any changes that could be made to the first paragraph? I like it as a lead in but I want to see what others think of it.
Thanks again!
Thanks for the info! Thanks for the constructive feedback. I have changed the sentences that you highlighted in order to make them more friendly:
'Electronic Sensing Systems'? Wow, 'Learn to find your targets and destroy them' sounds like a really fun course!
The COM-BAT program? If that doesn't sound like it'd be a heck of a time there, playing around in microchip design, than I don't know what would.
... by an especially cruel ... -> replace with clever
I've also changed up the concluding paragraph to make the whole paragraph more positive instead of the negative vibe that it had going on:
What you do ... will be much harder. Some people work so hard that they have to stay up late at night in order to complete work.
I say bring it on.
I am motivated by the challenge that Michigan brings to the table and I want to show the University what I can accomplish with that challenge.
Are there any changes that could be made to the first paragraph? I like it as a lead in but I want to see what others think of it.
Thanks again!