Johnnguyen
Nov 23, 2018
Writing Feedback / Many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house [3]
Hi everyone, I'm practicing IELTS writing task 2.
Could you please show me the mistakes about task achievement, coherence and cohesion devices, grammar and lexical resources in this essay? And which band score will I get with this essay? Thank you very much.
Here is the topic:
"In the past, many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, these skills are disappearing. Why do you think this is happening? Is this situation true in your country?"
ANSWER:
It is perceived that many soft skills are disappearing in many certain countries. This essay aims to give the reasons for it and I think it is true in my country.
The issue that certain practical skills are disappearing could be justified by several reasons related to useful applications and modern lifestyle. With regard to the former, people nowadays live under the high pressures of work, so they have to save their time as much as possible. Therefore, they outsource tasks to do their household chores with the support of many useful applications such as Now and Airtasker, which helps them to spend more time on other activities. The the second point to be taken into account is that children in the modern lifestyle spend most time learning academic subjects and using gadgets, so they do not have enough time to learn practical skills such as making their clothes and doing repairs to things.
I think this situation is true in my country, which leads to advantages and disadvantages. Looking first at the beneficial effects, this trend helps people to focus on earning more money and creates " less desirable" jobs for other people. However, people, especially children, will not have the abilities to look after themselves, they become more dependent and consequently lack parenting skills in the future.
In conclusion, practical skills are disappearing because of applications and modern lifestyle, and i think it is true that this trend is happpening in my country.
Hi everyone, I'm practicing IELTS writing task 2.
many skills are disappearing nowadays
Could you please show me the mistakes about task achievement, coherence and cohesion devices, grammar and lexical resources in this essay? And which band score will I get with this essay? Thank you very much.
Here is the topic:
"In the past, many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, these skills are disappearing. Why do you think this is happening? Is this situation true in your country?"
ANSWER:
It is perceived that many soft skills are disappearing in many certain countries. This essay aims to give the reasons for it and I think it is true in my country.
The issue that certain practical skills are disappearing could be justified by several reasons related to useful applications and modern lifestyle. With regard to the former, people nowadays live under the high pressures of work, so they have to save their time as much as possible. Therefore, they outsource tasks to do their household chores with the support of many useful applications such as Now and Airtasker, which helps them to spend more time on other activities. The the second point to be taken into account is that children in the modern lifestyle spend most time learning academic subjects and using gadgets, so they do not have enough time to learn practical skills such as making their clothes and doing repairs to things.
I think this situation is true in my country, which leads to advantages and disadvantages. Looking first at the beneficial effects, this trend helps people to focus on earning more money and creates " less desirable" jobs for other people. However, people, especially children, will not have the abilities to look after themselves, they become more dependent and consequently lack parenting skills in the future.
In conclusion, practical skills are disappearing because of applications and modern lifestyle, and i think it is true that this trend is happpening in my country.
