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Posts by phamhung [Suspended]
Name: Pham Quang Hung
Joined: Dec 18, 2018
Last Post: Dec 18, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Vietnam
School: Nguyen Trai gifted high school

Displayed posts: 2
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phamhung   
Dec 18, 2018
Graduate / How you would use Wesleyan education to make a contribution to your home country. Wesleyan essay. [NEW]

every big dream starts out small



I do not look up to celebrities or idols, I love history and so I admire the immortals, people that have been recorded in history and remembered because of their great deeds. Thus, I desire that one day I too will be able to make contribution to my beloved home country so that I would be remembered. But every big dream starts out small, I realize that to achieve great things, I would need my passion, my motivation and a suitable academic environment that I can develop in, I found just that in Wesleyan University.

My intended major is Computer Science, being able to work with computer and mathematics has always been my life-long dream before I was even aware of the major's existence. My ultimate goal would be to be an expert in the field of robotics, to be able to research and create smart machines that can free human's labor. Fortunately, this goal of mine is align with my country's need.

I was made aware of the hardship that Vietnamese farmers have to suffer when I did voluntary work in LangSon to help poor children and local people in their daily life. Although Vietnam is an agricultural nation, our production method are mostly manual; this means that the farmer must spend most time on the paddy field, work hard but still earn little comparing to other countries' farmers like the US's. Although this is a multi-facet problems that require multiple solutions, the outdated technology would need to be addressed as the top priority because technology is the most powerful variant in the productivity equation. Thus, I look to the US as the most advanced technology nation to find an education that can both satisfy my thirst for knowledge as well as serve to ease the suffering that my fellow farmers are enduring and seek to help create a reality where farming is no longer in a disadvantaged position.

However, to able to achieve that goal, I must first strive to become excellent in the field I have chosen. Along with hard-working and passion, my field emphasizes open-mindedness and creativity, which can only be fostered in an environment honoring similar virtues such as that of Wesleyan University. The establishment's values goes well with what I consider the goals of education which is a future investment into human resources so that the value the society receive would be priceless. Wesleyan University will be perfect foundation for me to take my first steps into my journey to realize my full potentials and make contribution to the society.

I would appreciate your help. Please give me comments on my essay.
phamhung   
Dec 18, 2018
Writing Feedback / Sharing freely information without caring the importance or value of it [3]

... it is crucial

You need to rephrase this "I think that it is depends both imfomation's value and infomation owner."
-would be better as information should be shared freely==>would be better if information is shared freely.
-every one ==> everyone
-Therefore, sharing for free information what will bring a lot of ...

-reputation, respect and esteem ==> they are almost identical
- great worth ==> valuable
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