Sharing information: should or should not
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some impormation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
People have different perspectives on whether imformation about scientific research, business and the academic world should be shared for free as much as posible or not for free because it is curial or to valuable. In my pinion, I think that it is depends both imfomation's value and infomation owner.
Many people support the opinion that it would be better as information should be shared freely. This might be because the information is extremely helpful for every one to work, study or develop. Therefore, sharing for free information what will bring a lot of benefits such as reputation, respect and esteem both individual and orginasation is curial, especially study about science, business and academic world.
On the other hand, others argue that many information should be charged because they are too important or great worth. For example, no candiadte who want to share their answers for other candidates in the college entrance examination want to enter university. It is clear that many exclusive informations of any organisation which has spent a lot of wealth and effort to create something and they think that they will sell thier information instead of sharing publicly.
However, I think that there are two factors which has an influence on sharing or non-sharing information. Although the value of information plays a key role in the owner's consideration of selling or sharing, the factor which decides the destiny of ingormation is haman. Consequently, some liberal people are willing to share freely their information without caring the impotence or value of information.
To sum up, sharing or non-sharing depends not only value but also holder of information but the exact imformation always useful for everyone so they should be shared for free as much as possible.
... it is crucial
You need to rephrase this "I think that it is depends both imfomation's value and infomation owner."
-would be better as information should be shared freely==>would be better if information is shared freely.
-every one ==> everyone
sharing for free information what will bring a lot of ...
-reputation, respect and esteem ==> they are almost identical
- great worth ==> valuable
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,172 3638
Alicia, you once again misunderstood the prompt discussion instructions. This is a 5 paragraph discussion essay that highlights 2 differing public opinions along with your personal opinion. The format is:
Par. 1: Paraphrased prompt
Par. 2: Public POV 1
Par. 3: Public POV 2
Par. 4: Personal opinion
Par. 5: Concluding summary
The instruction rephrasing should have been something like:
There is a need to fully understand the two opposing points of view through information presentation for each. This is important because, as a writer, I cannot build my personal opinion for presentation to the reader without it. That is why this essay will compare the opposing publicly supported reasons before I create a personal opinion.
Your opening paragraph presented this essay as a total personal point of view essay. Which means your response is only partially correct. You will only receive a score for the personal opinion section of the discussion instruction. That means you will fall under the minimum word count of 250 words. After the points are deducted for the short essay word count, then we add the deductions for the other errors, you will find it difficult to meet the minimum passing score for this test.
Always discuss the essay in the manner instructed in the original prompt. Use the correct reference phrases that clearly show you are discussing the public points of view first. You need to understand that reference words help your score because it clarifies the discussion points and references. I believe that I already explained how you can do that in your previous essay. Seeing this mistake repeated in this essay makes me feel disappointed and afraid for you. I can't even bring myself to review your other errors in this essay because you did not discuss the requirements in the expected manner. I would like to give you the opportunity to present a properly represented essay. That way I will be able to properly assess your writing strengths and weaknesses.
English comprehension skills and your ability to follow the instructions are very important for a person who wishes to study in an English academic environment. That is the very first thing that is scored in this test. When you don't properly repeat what the original discussion instructions are, which makes you discuss the essay in either the wrong or, as in this case, an incomplete manner, the examiner will not be confident that you have what it takes to survive in an English curriculum based learning facility.
Let's work on your comprehension skills first, then worry about the other parts later :-) I am sure you can do this.