Undergraduate / "I Fence for Brentwood, for those under appreciated" Common App essay: [3]

Assignment: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others

"I'm interested in going to Penn State,I'm looking for comments on how to improve this essay, making it stand,though I love fencing and want to continue my path as a fencer, I am also interested in computer science and want to know how I could include both topics in one essay

'i am a fencer'

Brentwood has been seen in the negative light by the media and towns around Long Island for gang violence, immigration issues, drugs, etc. But, on the other side of the fence, lies a hardworking community of underappreciated people and youth. My experience in Brentwood has been excellent. Growing up in Brentwood since the age of 12 was a diverse experience which I really enjoyed. I am Black, call me what you want African American and Haitian, and I am a fencer.

Fencing is a very physically demanding sport; it's an individual sport. It lets me work beside my teammates, while also working on being one of the captains for my team. I've tried different sports like swimming, football, and wrestling, but fencing piqued my interest. If you can train your eye to watch a split second bout, you'd understand the feeling of how thrilling each match is. The sport is so incredibly fast and precise, that after watching several matches, I was still shocked by how incredibly difficult it is to understand the movements.

Saber is for thrusting and cutting. Epee is a thrusting weapon, both weapon classes were what I happened to be interested in. Three years ago I was in Sonderling cafeteria trying out for the sport. After a week of practicing, my coach placed me in as a saber the same year I was put on as a sub for the varsity members. Now I'm a Brentwood varsity saber fencer. Understanding the feeling of it is like understanding how time runs in the mind of a fencer. fencing has taught me to be more straightforward with people, to appreciate myself from what I can accomplish from practicing on my own. As varsity (couch)member, I love training the JV team whenever I find something useful in a bout, I make sure I teach them. From my experience, I love watching how my opponents fence, seeing their techniques, the footwork and their hand movements before and as they attack. I use what I have learned while I practice for my bouts with my other varsity members. I use what I've learned on them to have a better understanding of each move.

My experience growing up in Brentwood and becoming a fencer has taught me how to be a hard worker, team leader and attain personal goals. As a leader, I want to inspire more students to join fencing because it is a great sport and gives one a sense of belonging and accomplishment.