Yopi
Mar 3, 2019
Writing Feedback / Social media (Advantages and Disadvantages) [3]
Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks.
Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Social media has become a part and parcel of today's way of living. Social media is being used by not only by young people, but large portion of older generation are getting involved. However there are rising concerns that people's information is being misused by various individuals and organizations without their consent. This essay will first discuss the social media's benefits and then the disadvantage it brings to us, namely our information that is publicly available for others to misuse. I argue that, overall, social media brings more advantages than the disadvantages; however, we need to be educated how to protect our data.
Social media is one of the best by product of the internet. We can communicate with our all our friends and family instantaneously all around the global. We can share information with all of them, discuss our ideas and opinions while being thousands of miles apart from each other. Social media also has had helped people in time of emergencies and in need moral support. The Information we decide to post on our social media is critical for others to understand us better. Without it social media is meaningless; same as not talking would be for face-to-face interaction. For example, in the study of 20,000 users of Facebook around different countries, from the period 2010-2018, showed that people were more content and happy with their lives than those who didn't use social media at all.
However, using social media has caused profound concern for data misuse. When we use social media, our information is there for the public to see. Whatever we post, there is always a risk that people who don't like us, can use the information to hurt or humiliate us. Furthermore, the social media companies regularly share information with advertisers so that they can better understand our buying patterns, our beliefs, interests etc. and promote their products or services through advertisements on these social media platforms. In the report published by FBI in 2017, up to 90% of social media users' data had been shared with third parties advertising companies without their knowledge. The report also found that 80% of all homicides, the killers used social media of the victims for their acts.
In the end, I do believe that Social media brings more benefits compared to its negatives. The key is to post information which is not too personal and is only shared to close friends and family. Additionally, we can always implement strict privacy settings to our profiles, which will help prevent data misuse.
40 min essay, but I took 1 hour. I am practicing. I am improving my time management.
Can you mark me on
Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
In your opinion give me your IELTS band score out of 9.
Thank you.
EVALUATION OF SOCIAL MEDIA EFFECTS
Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks.
Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Social media has become a part and parcel of today's way of living. Social media is being used by not only by young people, but large portion of older generation are getting involved. However there are rising concerns that people's information is being misused by various individuals and organizations without their consent. This essay will first discuss the social media's benefits and then the disadvantage it brings to us, namely our information that is publicly available for others to misuse. I argue that, overall, social media brings more advantages than the disadvantages; however, we need to be educated how to protect our data.
Social media is one of the best by product of the internet. We can communicate with our all our friends and family instantaneously all around the global. We can share information with all of them, discuss our ideas and opinions while being thousands of miles apart from each other. Social media also has had helped people in time of emergencies and in need moral support. The Information we decide to post on our social media is critical for others to understand us better. Without it social media is meaningless; same as not talking would be for face-to-face interaction. For example, in the study of 20,000 users of Facebook around different countries, from the period 2010-2018, showed that people were more content and happy with their lives than those who didn't use social media at all.
However, using social media has caused profound concern for data misuse. When we use social media, our information is there for the public to see. Whatever we post, there is always a risk that people who don't like us, can use the information to hurt or humiliate us. Furthermore, the social media companies regularly share information with advertisers so that they can better understand our buying patterns, our beliefs, interests etc. and promote their products or services through advertisements on these social media platforms. In the report published by FBI in 2017, up to 90% of social media users' data had been shared with third parties advertising companies without their knowledge. The report also found that 80% of all homicides, the killers used social media of the victims for their acts.
In the end, I do believe that Social media brings more benefits compared to its negatives. The key is to post information which is not too personal and is only shared to close friends and family. Additionally, we can always implement strict privacy settings to our profiles, which will help prevent data misuse.
40 min essay, but I took 1 hour. I am practicing. I am improving my time management.
Can you mark me on
Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
In your opinion give me your IELTS band score out of 9.
Thank you.
