khanbahadar12
Mar 30, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 - railway transport vs existing public transport [3]
Kindly evaluate my essay in terms of Task response, lexical resource, grammatical range and coherence and cohesion and suggest an overall band for it if feasible.
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities.Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There is no doubt that a transport system has become an inevitable requirement of the modern world today. while some people believe that a major sum of budget should be spent on development of new railway tracks for high-speed trains, I tend to agree with the ones who are of the opinion that the money might be used instead on the existing public transport.
Those who advocate for development of new railway tracks for high-speed trains, argue that it will be a major improvement in reducing the travel time from one city to another. This is because these trains will be equipped with the latest technology in terms of speed and comfort, thus benefitting the local population by a much speedier and relaxed journey. For instance, bullet trains have been introduced in china, which have decreased the travel time from Beijing to shanghai to less than almost half of that in the past.
However, I believe the existing transport system is already more convenient and might just require some improvements to run as efficient as the train system. The reason for this is because public transport is cheaper and within the reach of the common people. For example, the local bus station I usually use to travel to my university is on a 5 minutes walk from my house. In contrast, people would have to travel long distances to reach railway stations and pay relatively more money for tickets.
In conclusion, despite the benefits of reduction in travel time , I strongly argue that the money might be better spent on the existing public transport, as it is within the reach of the common people with regards to both finances and convenience.
Kindly evaluate my essay in terms of Task response, lexical resource, grammatical range and coherence and cohesion and suggest an overall band for it if feasible.
proper investment for travel time reduction
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities.Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There is no doubt that a transport system has become an inevitable requirement of the modern world today. while some people believe that a major sum of budget should be spent on development of new railway tracks for high-speed trains, I tend to agree with the ones who are of the opinion that the money might be used instead on the existing public transport.
Those who advocate for development of new railway tracks for high-speed trains, argue that it will be a major improvement in reducing the travel time from one city to another. This is because these trains will be equipped with the latest technology in terms of speed and comfort, thus benefitting the local population by a much speedier and relaxed journey. For instance, bullet trains have been introduced in china, which have decreased the travel time from Beijing to shanghai to less than almost half of that in the past.
However, I believe the existing transport system is already more convenient and might just require some improvements to run as efficient as the train system. The reason for this is because public transport is cheaper and within the reach of the common people. For example, the local bus station I usually use to travel to my university is on a 5 minutes walk from my house. In contrast, people would have to travel long distances to reach railway stations and pay relatively more money for tickets.
In conclusion, despite the benefits of reduction in travel time , I strongly argue that the money might be better spent on the existing public transport, as it is within the reach of the common people with regards to both finances and convenience.
