Chau Nguyen
May 19, 2019
Writing Feedback / The statistics of tourists to Scotland who visited went to the various attractions [4]
Dear Thulai,
Because there is no image attached, after reading your essay, I suppose this graph illustrates the PROPORTION of tourists. That's why i think you should use proportion/percentage/rate instead of NUMBER in INTRODUCTION sentence.
I would like to edit something grammatically in your essay:
- The rates 'Overall, the rate" were... whereas the proportion...
- In 1980, the percentage of tourists chose the Festival was highest, at 30%, while the figures for castle and aquarium were slightly lower, at 23% and 20% respectively
- You should notice when plural nouns are used and how to use sentence to describe percentage.
Best of luck!
Dear Thulai,
Because there is no image attached, after reading your essay, I suppose this graph illustrates the PROPORTION of tourists. That's why i think you should use proportion/percentage/rate instead of NUMBER in INTRODUCTION sentence.
I would like to edit something grammatically in your essay:
- The rates 'Overall, the rate" were... whereas the proportion...
- In 1980, the percentage of tourists chose the Festival was highest, at 30%, while the figures for castle and aquarium were slightly lower, at 23% and 20% respectively
- You should notice when plural nouns are used and how to use sentence to describe percentage.
Best of luck!