lebuixuan
Jun 6, 2019
Writing Feedback / Sports have the same importance as classes and libraries and require also similar funding [4]
Hey hey hey! I am having my ToeFL test very soon so I hope everyone could help me achieve a writing score of 26/30!
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Whenever we inquire a body of students in regards to their most awaited aspects in beginning college, they would more or less present the same answer: the courses and societal thrills. Personally, I feel that although education should be undergraduates' prime focus in the years to come, extracurricular work, in athletic and humanitarian pursuits, offers comparable value as well. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, undertaking non-scholastic ventures helps students to build bridges, which is a fundamental skill in attaining substantial triumph at this day and day. To be more specific, by having circles of distinct endeavors, such as sports and social service, undergraduates are offerred an enormous fortune of encountering peers with whom they can speak the same language and ultimately establish a relationship. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. Precisely, I was acquainted to very few students during my freshman year of college. To be frank, although I shared seminars with them, seldom did we speak outside of class unless an upcoming assessment was around. This resulted my hardship in establishing a firm connection with my peers which, however, was soon abolished when I enlisted into my school's Model United Nations group. Upon my first meeting with the panel, I was able to hit it off with the organization's leader and co-leader there since our virtues and commitment to eradicating social prejudices aligned. We soon became friends and continued to be so until today. Essentially, without partaking any athletic nor communal programs, I wouldn't able to form bonds with my peers.
Secondly, assembling a strong sports team or influential social campaign through the development of afterschool programs would benefit a college tremendously. It is imperative for an institution to upgrade their facilities and resources through time, which could accrue to an insurmountable fee annually. However, through the glory that their representative team have achieved, universities could raise finance by accepting request from an influex of enterprises to endorse their merchandise. For instance, my sister's school was renowned for cultivating the leading basketball lineup among American colleges. Thanks to that, her school had yielded an immense number of sponsors from prominent sports brand and clothing lines alike. Consequently, the proceeds that the university earned were funnelled into expanding the science labotory and funding experiments for their professors. Those decisions had solidified my sister's school to be among the top in the STEM field and research opportunities.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that extracurricular opportunities,within sport or social service, are as critical as seminars and learning facilities to any academies. This is because they aid pupils in affiliating one another and are a wonderful asset for the schools when these extracurricular organizations gain traction.
sport or social service is as critical as seminars and learning facilities
Hey hey hey! I am having my ToeFL test very soon so I hope everyone could help me achieve a writing score of 26/30!
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Whenever we inquire a body of students in regards to their most awaited aspects in beginning college, they would more or less present the same answer: the courses and societal thrills. Personally, I feel that although education should be undergraduates' prime focus in the years to come, extracurricular work, in athletic and humanitarian pursuits, offers comparable value as well. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, undertaking non-scholastic ventures helps students to build bridges, which is a fundamental skill in attaining substantial triumph at this day and day. To be more specific, by having circles of distinct endeavors, such as sports and social service, undergraduates are offerred an enormous fortune of encountering peers with whom they can speak the same language and ultimately establish a relationship. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. Precisely, I was acquainted to very few students during my freshman year of college. To be frank, although I shared seminars with them, seldom did we speak outside of class unless an upcoming assessment was around. This resulted my hardship in establishing a firm connection with my peers which, however, was soon abolished when I enlisted into my school's Model United Nations group. Upon my first meeting with the panel, I was able to hit it off with the organization's leader and co-leader there since our virtues and commitment to eradicating social prejudices aligned. We soon became friends and continued to be so until today. Essentially, without partaking any athletic nor communal programs, I wouldn't able to form bonds with my peers.
Secondly, assembling a strong sports team or influential social campaign through the development of afterschool programs would benefit a college tremendously. It is imperative for an institution to upgrade their facilities and resources through time, which could accrue to an insurmountable fee annually. However, through the glory that their representative team have achieved, universities could raise finance by accepting request from an influex of enterprises to endorse their merchandise. For instance, my sister's school was renowned for cultivating the leading basketball lineup among American colleges. Thanks to that, her school had yielded an immense number of sponsors from prominent sports brand and clothing lines alike. Consequently, the proceeds that the university earned were funnelled into expanding the science labotory and funding experiments for their professors. Those decisions had solidified my sister's school to be among the top in the STEM field and research opportunities.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that extracurricular opportunities,within sport or social service, are as critical as seminars and learning facilities to any academies. This is because they aid pupils in affiliating one another and are a wonderful asset for the schools when these extracurricular organizations gain traction.
