longbango
Aug 17, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: children are becoming overweight and unhealthy [4]
@Veranda thank you for your recommendations!
@Veranda thank you for your recommendations!
longbango
Aug 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: children are becoming overweight and unhealthy [4]
TOPIC:
In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
ESSAY:
Childhood obesity is indeed one of the most prevailing problems in many countries. While I agree that the authorities are responsible for this major issue, I also believe that it is the duty of every mother and father to keep their children in good shape.
On the one hand, there are those who believe that the government is the one to blame for this issue. The main argument is that the authorities often spend only a small portion of the nation' s annual budget for public amenities such as parks and children's playgrounds. This improper budget allocation could result in the degradation of children's public amenities, thus limiting the choices of younger generations in terms of having a place for outdoor activities. As a result, instead of playing outside, children choose to stay home and spend their leisure time with computer games and watching TV. This unhealthy habit is the main cause of childhood obesity, as children burn fewer calories and inactive for long periods.
On the other hand, I side with those who believe that parents should have the responsibility for this major problem. As child-rearing is one of the most important duties of each mother and father, parents should be proactive in terms of finding a way to instill active lifestyles in their children. In order to do this, encouraging children to participate in their school's sports teams is a good choice, as they can socialize with their peers and enjoy the delightfulness of sports. Besides, parents should carefully select the right diet for their kids and limit them from eating too many foods that rich in fat and sugar.
In conclusion, it is indeed that the government should have responsibility for the obesity of younger generations. However, it is also the duty of parents in terms of promoting healthy lifestyles to their children.
Please review my ielts writing task 2, thanks for reading!
responsibility for obesity among youngsters
TOPIC:
In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
ESSAY:
Childhood obesity is indeed one of the most prevailing problems in many countries. While I agree that the authorities are responsible for this major issue, I also believe that it is the duty of every mother and father to keep their children in good shape.
On the one hand, there are those who believe that the government is the one to blame for this issue. The main argument is that the authorities often spend only a small portion of the nation' s annual budget for public amenities such as parks and children's playgrounds. This improper budget allocation could result in the degradation of children's public amenities, thus limiting the choices of younger generations in terms of having a place for outdoor activities. As a result, instead of playing outside, children choose to stay home and spend their leisure time with computer games and watching TV. This unhealthy habit is the main cause of childhood obesity, as children burn fewer calories and inactive for long periods.
On the other hand, I side with those who believe that parents should have the responsibility for this major problem. As child-rearing is one of the most important duties of each mother and father, parents should be proactive in terms of finding a way to instill active lifestyles in their children. In order to do this, encouraging children to participate in their school's sports teams is a good choice, as they can socialize with their peers and enjoy the delightfulness of sports. Besides, parents should carefully select the right diet for their kids and limit them from eating too many foods that rich in fat and sugar.
In conclusion, it is indeed that the government should have responsibility for the obesity of younger generations. However, it is also the duty of parents in terms of promoting healthy lifestyles to their children.
Please review my ielts writing task 2, thanks for reading!