Scholarship / QuestBridge National College Match Biographical Essay: D&D, Financial Struggles, Support Systems [5]

We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow?

a disguising spell

My legs ached and my breath came out in quick pants as I ran, hearing the heavy footfalls of the guards that chased me. I turned a corner, two corners, twisting and turning to try and lose them. I spotted my escape in the distance: a boat, a line of people embarking in a steady stream. I made my way into the crowd and onto the vessel, darting into the first empty cabin I saw. The clanking of armor alerted me to the guards boarding as they headed towards my hiding place. My panic halted in a moment of clarity and I quickly cast a disguising spell just as one of the guards opened the door. Looking at me with no sign of recognition, he apologized for the disturbance and went on his way.

Of course, reality is not like the fantasy game, Dungeons & Dragons. As much as I would like to, I cannot use a spell to make my problems go away. I can neither cast Cure Wounds on my mother's back to make her able to work again nor cast Dispel Magic on the depression that plagues my best friend's mind like a curse. Instead, I can only pick up extra shifts at my part-time jobs to ease my mother's financial burden and be there for my friend when she is going through a rough time. While my Dungeons & Dragons persona fought off enemies with swords and spells, I fight my battles with hard work and empathy.

My battle with money began with my mother's back surgery. Despite the drawn-out recovery, the surgery barely decreased her level of pain and left her laden with steel rods and an inability to work. Suddenly, we were living solely off the meager monthly checks from her teacher's pension, and I was made painfully aware of money, or rather, our lack of it. I'd gone from blissfully unaware to hyper-vigilant in the span of a month. Our newfound financial situation made my mother unable to contribute to my college education, and I didn't want to burden her with debt. I picked up three part-time jobs despite my already packed schedule and threw myself into my studies to ensure I could get a scholarship to attend college. I refused to sacrifice the future I envisioned because of the obstacles I was experiencing at the moment.

The world did not fall away while I was going through such a dramatic change in both perspective and lifestyle. This was a hard concept to grasp while I was so thoroughly immersed in my own problems. I depended on my friends heavily for support; as much as I did not want to burden them with my worries, I expected them to be there for me no matter what, and they were. That is, until the day my best friend disappeared. As engrossed as I was in my own day-to-day tasks and responsibilities, I didn't regard that as anything to be concerned about. We didn't see each other in person often and she'd simply stopped responding to my texts. She could have lost her phone or gone on a spur of the moment trip to another country. As unlikely as those scenarios were, I let myself believe them.

When she finally contacted me a month later and told me she'd withdrawn from public school to start homeschooling because of her declining mental health, I felt terrible. There I was, expecting her to support me in my times of need, and I didn't support her in hers. She assured me she was doing better, but I knew I could no longer allow myself to be so self-absorbed. I could neither let my need to get into college nor my responsibilities make me lose the trait I valued most in myself-compassion. I resigned from one of my positions and eased up on my obsession with getting good grades. I was still making money and getting A's, but I refocused more of my time on my friends and family, who supported me unconditionally and deserved all of my support in return.

With lofty ambitions, a strong work ethic, and those I care about by my side, conquering dungeons and slaying dragons are not as arduous as they may seem. I don't need magic to help me on my journey to pursue my dreams; I already have all the tools I need to flourish. Though I am ever-changing and improving, I will never forget the obstacles I've overcome and lessons I've learned to get to where I am today. The most important lesson? Always have a disguising spell handy when you're on the run.