diemhalenguyen
Oct 19, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school [2]
Hi,
I am a high-schooler in Vietnam. I'm taking the IELTS test next week and aim for band 6+ in Writing. I need you help with my essays. Can you please give your opinions in my essays, correct wrong expressons and if possible, mark this essay in 4 IELTS writing criteria?
Thank you a lot.
Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school, some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the contemporary world, it is said that commuting time between homes and workplaces or schools is increasing. While some people consider it as a positive development, others who have contradicting view believe there are shortcomings associated with this trend. In this essay, I will present this from both perspectives and give my personal opinion.
From the one hand, there are good grounds for having a positive mind about taking more time for travelling between home and work or school. First, this tendency reduces pressure on urban development as people no longer insist on living in city centers in order to work at enterprises located there. Authorities, therefore, can allocate specific regions for industrial firms, offices and residence, which leads to more well-organized urban areas. A prime example of this is the transformation of Ho Chi Minh City. Compared to ten years ago, despite having top enterprises, District 1 is no longer considered as an ideal residential zone as people opt for adjacent areas which are cheaper yet offer better services. In this case, taking more time to travel to workplaces is a worthwhile trade-off.
On the other hand, I concur with the view that this development has worth-considering negative effects. From an economic perspective, workers and students not only have to spend more time on commuting, but also have to pay more for fuels or transportation fees. For example, in Vietnam, it is estimated that spending on motorbike/car accounts for over 500 000 VND a month while incomes of middle-class people are just over 6 000 000 VND. This tendency, together with increasing fuel prices, pose challenges for low-income workers and students who are still dependant on their parents. Also, it is believed that spending a long time travelling can reduce work efficiency. While driving, the car/motorbike controllers obviously have to pay high attention and by the time they arrive at work or school, they are already drained. Traffic conjunctions on the way to work may result in employees attending late and being considered as lacking work ethics.
In conclusion, although there are certain benefits, I believe the negative impacts of this trend on individuals are stronger and worth more considerations.
Hi,
I am a high-schooler in Vietnam. I'm taking the IELTS test next week and aim for band 6+ in Writing. I need you help with my essays. Can you please give your opinions in my essays, correct wrong expressons and if possible, mark this essay in 4 IELTS writing criteria?
Thank you a lot.
commuting time between home and a workplace
Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school, some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the contemporary world, it is said that commuting time between homes and workplaces or schools is increasing. While some people consider it as a positive development, others who have contradicting view believe there are shortcomings associated with this trend. In this essay, I will present this from both perspectives and give my personal opinion.
From the one hand, there are good grounds for having a positive mind about taking more time for travelling between home and work or school. First, this tendency reduces pressure on urban development as people no longer insist on living in city centers in order to work at enterprises located there. Authorities, therefore, can allocate specific regions for industrial firms, offices and residence, which leads to more well-organized urban areas. A prime example of this is the transformation of Ho Chi Minh City. Compared to ten years ago, despite having top enterprises, District 1 is no longer considered as an ideal residential zone as people opt for adjacent areas which are cheaper yet offer better services. In this case, taking more time to travel to workplaces is a worthwhile trade-off.
On the other hand, I concur with the view that this development has worth-considering negative effects. From an economic perspective, workers and students not only have to spend more time on commuting, but also have to pay more for fuels or transportation fees. For example, in Vietnam, it is estimated that spending on motorbike/car accounts for over 500 000 VND a month while incomes of middle-class people are just over 6 000 000 VND. This tendency, together with increasing fuel prices, pose challenges for low-income workers and students who are still dependant on their parents. Also, it is believed that spending a long time travelling can reduce work efficiency. While driving, the car/motorbike controllers obviously have to pay high attention and by the time they arrive at work or school, they are already drained. Traffic conjunctions on the way to work may result in employees attending late and being considered as lacking work ethics.
In conclusion, although there are certain benefits, I believe the negative impacts of this trend on individuals are stronger and worth more considerations.