Huu Nghia
Nov 7, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay about the topic work [3]
Essay:
The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life.
Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to prepare people to work in the future
Working environment and the workers are changing constantly and evolving to meet the demands of modern society. This essay will discuss possible reasons for these changes and ways that people can better prepare for their future career.
There are two main reasons that lead to this phenomenon. Firstly, the internet offer workers many job opportunities. Consequently, people are not financially depend on their company and having the chance to improve their living conditions. Secondly, there is an increase in the usage of modern technology in companies' daily work. Those workers, who find it difficult to learn and incorporate technology into their work, will be left behind. For example, factories have been applying modern AI technology into their process which will replace traditional workers.
However, there are a number of ways that people can prepare for their future occupation. Firstly, students in high schools should be well-prepared in order to have a clear vision in life. They will less likely to get lost and change jobs constantly. To illustrate, autonomous vehicles are predicted to replace most delivery and taxi driver jobs in the very near future, so this is not a job that someone should expect to have for a very long time. Thus, people will need to be able to keep up to date with these changes.
In conclusion, although there are many changes in the workplace these days, educating people to carefully choose their career and to keep up to date with modern technology, is the key to avoiding any major problems.
Please give me the correction for my writing. How i could be more natural at writing task 2 ?
Essay:
The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life.
Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to prepare people to work in the future
labor market volatility
Working environment and the workers are changing constantly and evolving to meet the demands of modern society. This essay will discuss possible reasons for these changes and ways that people can better prepare for their future career.
There are two main reasons that lead to this phenomenon. Firstly, the internet offer workers many job opportunities. Consequently, people are not financially depend on their company and having the chance to improve their living conditions. Secondly, there is an increase in the usage of modern technology in companies' daily work. Those workers, who find it difficult to learn and incorporate technology into their work, will be left behind. For example, factories have been applying modern AI technology into their process which will replace traditional workers.
However, there are a number of ways that people can prepare for their future occupation. Firstly, students in high schools should be well-prepared in order to have a clear vision in life. They will less likely to get lost and change jobs constantly. To illustrate, autonomous vehicles are predicted to replace most delivery and taxi driver jobs in the very near future, so this is not a job that someone should expect to have for a very long time. Thus, people will need to be able to keep up to date with these changes.
In conclusion, although there are many changes in the workplace these days, educating people to carefully choose their career and to keep up to date with modern technology, is the key to avoiding any major problems.
Please give me the correction for my writing. How i could be more natural at writing task 2 ?
